


8 Makes One Family ; Ateez BadBoys!Au

by yoon_han_byeol



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: ATEEZ - Freeform, F/M, Kq fellaz, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-03-20 07:02:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 28,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18987652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yoon_han_byeol/pseuds/yoon_han_byeol





	1. ONE

It wasn’t the first time I changed school. It was the third, actually, and I hoped it would also be the last. I was moving house again, and this time I was going to live in a small apartment. I wasn’t happy. It was already difficult to live with my mother in a big space. I didn’t want to think how it would be to be together in that place. 

I got off the bus and looked at the school. I sighed and went in. I had received the timetable and a map of the school through mail, so I already knew were I was going. I went straight to the second floor, room number 3. Almost all the seats were already taken, so I went to the back of the class and sat there. As soon as I sat down, a boy entered the class and headed towards me. He wasn’t tall but still looked somehow intimidating. He had light brown hair, long in the back. He was wearing leather and he had at least one ring on each finger. He arrived in front of me and just glared at me. I looked at him, confused.

《What…?》 I asked, my voice almost a whisper

《That’s my seat》 he growled 《Get up. Now》

I got up immediately and bowed, apologizing. He scoffed and sat on his seat. A girl pointed me the seat next to her, so I went to sit there. 

《Don’t take it personal》 she said 《He’s like that with everyone》

《Okay…》 I replied

《I’m Minha, by the way》 the girl said

《I’m Y/N》 I replied 《Nice to meet you》

In that moment the teacher entered the class and everyone went silent. The first thing he did was saying that there was a new student and he forced me to introduce myself to the class. After my little presentation everyone said hi and I sat back down, so that the lesson could start.

Minha and I didn’t have the same lessons because she was attending a special program, but she promised to find me during lunch break and bring me to the canteen so that we could eat together. I waited for her in front of my class and she arrived running.

《Let’s hurry up or they’ll take the seats》 she said

She took my hand and started running towards the canteen. We arrived and took two trays, waiting for our turn to take the food. As soon as we took what we wanted she showed me the way to the table she usually sits at. We sat one in front of the other.

《You see those guys there?》 she said, pointing to a group of boys sitting at a table isolated from the others. I nodded.

《They’re the bad boys of the school》 she said, starting eating 《They’re called KQ Fellaz. The guy from the first period is there too. His name is Hongjoong》

You could clearly see him between the boys. They were eating peacefully, while two of them were playfully fighting.

《They don’t look intimidating》 I said

《Don’t let them fool you. Some of them look nice but they’re all devils》 she said 《Just a few people had dared to mess with them, and no one has ever seen them since》

《They’re really that bad?》 I asked 《Aren’t you just exaggerating?》

She looked at me and laughed.

《If you don’t believe I can tell you all the stories in details》 she replied 《But the most important thing right now is that you understand that it’s better if you stay away from them. They always bring trouble》

I nodded and turned around again, to look at their table. In that moment Hongjoong’s eyes met mine and we stared at each other for a couple of seconds. Then I turned around and started eating. I felt his eyes on my back the whole time and I felt uncomfortable. I didn’t know what I was supposed to feel. Of course he wasn’t polite, but he didn’t even seem as bas as Minha wanted me to believe. But, in the end, I didn’t know him, nor the other boys of KQ Fellaz, so I couldn’t say yet how they were.

After the first day, I tried to do as Minha told me. Luckily I didn’t meet none of the boys around the school, not even accidentally, so it was easy to avoid them. The only one I had a bit more problems with was Hongjoong. We were in the same class, so I couldn’t ignore him. I tried, but sometimes I just found myself turning around and meeting his eyes. After the lessons I always ran away before everyone, so that I didn’t risk bumping into him or something. 

Apart from the running away, the first week of school was fine and passed quickly. The school wasn’t bad and the classmates seemed nicer then the ones I had in the other schools. My mom obviously didn’t ask me how school was. I tried to tell her something myself a couple of times, but she always cut me off saying she didn’t want to hear me talking about useless stuff. It was Sunday evening when my mom told me she didn’t want me at home. It was something she did from time to time. It wasn’t new. I knew that when she says that, I can’t protest or even talk. She doesn’t care where I go. She just wants me gone until she feels like tolerating me again. She’s been doing this for years now.

Since I was new in that part of town and didn’t know where to go, I just decided to go back to school. _I’ll find a way to enter and I’ll stay there until tomorrow_ , I said to myself, _no one will notice._

I managed to enter the building and went in every classroom trying to find a place where I could put my things and lay down, without the risk of someone finding me. As I was entering the 7th room, I heard voices coming from the end of the corridor. I panicked and went in. It was a small storage room. I tried to hide and not make a noise. The voices were getting closer.

《Wooyoung said he’ll pay tonight if we win》 said a voice

《Why did we even make that bet?》 some else said 《It’s fucking stupid》

《Are you scared of the dark school alleys, Mingi?》 said someone, with a playful tone

《Shut up》 replied the other one

The boys were walking in front of the room I was in. I waited some minutes until I couldn’t hear their voices anymore, then finally took a sigh of relief. I was about to get out of the room when I hit something with my bag. A tv fell to the ground and broke into pieces.

《Shit》 I said 

I was scared the boys could still hear me, or that someone else could find me, so I ran away, panicking. I ran to the gym and hid in the changing rooms. I tried to lay down but I was too anxious to sleep. I only managed to close my eyes for a couple of minutes. 

When my alarm went off in the morning, I was awake. I washed myself and got changed for school, then went in the building like it was a normal day. 

《You look tired》 Minha said when she saw me

《I didn’t sleep well》 I replied

I went to class and sat down, putting my head on the table. Even after the lesson started, I couldn’t focus and my head started to feel dizzy.

《Ms Jung?》 I said 《Can I go to the infirmary? I don’t feel good》

《Sure》 she said

As soon as I exited the class, another teacher entered. I stopped for a second, to hear what he had to say. 

《Kim Hongjoong?》 he called 《The principal wants to see you》

The boy followed the teacher to the principal’s office. Instead of going to the infirmary I followed them, trying to stay behind so that they wouldn’t notice me. They both entered the office and I sat outside. Thankfully the walls and door were thin enough to let me hear most of the conversation.

《This morning a teacher found one of the school’s televisions broken》 said the principal

《So?》 replied the boy

《It was completely fine when they put it back in the storage room yesterday evening, but this morning it was suddenly broken》

《I don’t understand how this has something to do with me》

《Someone reported seeing you in the school tonight》 the principal said 《Breaking school’s property is something we can’t really tolerate. We already don’t have enough money to buy everything we need, and the things we have are used by everyone》

《I didn’t break it》 Hongjoong said

In that moment I couldn’t hear the answer because the basketball team passed by and they were making a lot of noise. As soon as the sound of their voices was finally gone, Hongjoong came out of the principal’s office. He noticed me and glared at me.

《Get out of my way》 he said, walking past me

After him, the teacher came out and noticed me.

《Can I help you?》 he asked

《I’m looking for the infirmary》 I said

He showed the way and I thanked him. I went in and laid down on one of the beds, thinking about what I had just heard. Will Hongjoong be punished for that broken television? Doesn’t the school usually make you pay for it when something like this happens? It’s not fair if he has to pay for it. He didn’t break it. It was me. Should I tell the truth? But what if they call my mom to tell her what I did?

I kept thinking and overthinking until I thought of a plan. I got up and run to the principal’s office. I knocked and he told me to come in.

《How can I help you?》 he asked 《Sit down》

I sat in front of him.

《I was the one who broke that television》 I said 《I stayed at school until late because I was studying. I remembered at the last minute that I forgot something in the storage room the day before, when the teacher asked me to bring them something from there, and I went to take it back. I wasn’t careful enough and I accidentally tripped and pushed the tv. I didn’t mean to break it. It was an accident. I’m really sorry》

He looked at me, surprised.

《Was it really you?》 he asked

《Yes》

《Well… Then… You know I have to call your parents to tell them. Even if it was an accident you still have to pay for what you broke》

《Please don’t call my parents》 I said 《My mom is sick and her heart is really weak. Finding out that I caused trouble would kill her. Please don’t call tell her. I promise I’ll bring the money to pay it back myself》

Sensing my distress, he sighed and gave in.

《I can see from your school record that you had never done anything bad and you had always been a good student. I will do as you ask this time and not call your mother, but I still have to punish you somehow. I hope you understand》

《I know》 I said 《I will accept everything》

《You’ll have to stay at school after lessons to clean the classrooms for a week, starting tomorrow》 he said

《Okay》 I said 《I’ll do it. And I’ll pay for a new television in a couple of days》

《Don’t make me regret my decision》 said the principal 《And please don’t break anything else》

I thanked him and went back to class. Hongjoong wasn’t there. He probably didn’t come back after meeting the principal. For the rest of the morning I thought of an excuse to tell my mom about me staying more time at school. The excuse would have been the plan B anyway, because it was likely that she was still in the phase of not caring about me, so she probably wouldn’t even want to know. 

At lunch I ate with Minha, as always, but I was silent the whole time. She sensed that something was off, but she didn’t ask anything. When I finished eating I told Minah I had something to do, and went away. I was planning on just going to my next class and relax until the lessons started, but as soon as I got out of the canteen, someone grabbed my arm and pulled me away. I looked up and met eyes with Hongjoong.

《What the fuck did you say to the principal?》 he growled 

I didn’t even have the time to reply that he started talking again.

《Why did you take the blame for the television?》

《I said the truth》 I replied 《I was really the one who broke it》

He looked at me, confused and surprised.

《You could have just let it be. Why did you confess?》 he asked

《I heard he was going to punish you for it and it wasn’t fair》

《Whether it’s fair or not, this shouldn’t matter to you》 he said 《I don’t need anyone’s help》

He glared at me one last time and went away. I stood there, flustered. 

 _Great now he hates me more than he did before_ , I thought. I sighed. This is gonna be a long year.


	2. TWO

The next day I wanted to talk to Hongjoong, but he didn’t come to school. Without him in class, the whole day was too quiet and boring. At the end of the day I said goodbye to Minha and went to the class where the principal said I would find someone who would explain to me what I should do. I entered the class and saw a boy sitting on the teacher’s seat, with his feet on the desk. He had black hair and his ear was full of piercings. I didn’t know his name but I remembered I saw him on the first day of school, when Minha pointed out the table were Hongjoong and his group of friends were.

《Hello》 I said, hesitant

《The broom and the feather duster are in that corner》 he said pointing at the back of the class 《The mop is in the bathroom》

I was taken back. He could have at least said “Hi”.

《Are you here to clean too?》 I asked

《Technically yes》 he said smirking 《But now that you are here I won’t have to do it anymore》

I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want to whine about it. It’s not like he would have done something if I complained. I sighed and took the broom. The only thing I could do was clean and work, hoping the time will pass quickly and this week of torture would end soon.

He stayed in the same position he was when I entered the class for the rest of the time, playing a game on his phone. After two hours the door opened and another boy entered the class. He was really tall and had brown hair.

《Hey, Yeosang》 said the tall boy 《Are you done playing? Hongjoong’s waiting for us》

Yeosang got up from his seat and looked at me dead serious.

《I’m going》 he said 《Don’t you dare tell the teachers that I didn’t help you or that I went away early》

After that he got out of the class. The other boy looked at me with pity in his eyes and then followed his friend, leaving me alone to clean.

For the following four days it went the same. I arrived in the class and started cleaning, while Yeosang played on the phone. Every day he went away before me, sometimes the brown-haired boy of the last time came to pick him up. Other days he went away on his own. Every day, as soon as I got in the class, I tried to convince him to help me but he kept playing without even listening to me, so in the end I always gave in and just cleaned without him.

That day I arrived in the class and I found him drawing on the board. 

《Hello》 I said

Obviously he didn’t reply. I took the feather duster and offered it to him.

《Can you help me clean?》 I asked 《I have to dust the shelves but they are too high for me》

《Just get on a chair》 he replied, still focused on the drawing

I sighed and went to clean. I didn’t see it, but when I walked away from him, he turned around and looked at me. He didn’t understand why I tired to convince him every time but always gave up so quickly. He shrugged and kept drawing. 

I looked at the high shelves and frowned. I took a chair and got on it, starting to dust the books and the other things on the shelf. While I was cleaning I noticed there was a lot of dust on the top of the shelf, but I couldn’t reach it. I stood on my tiptoes trying to reach the point, but I lost balance and fell off, hitting my head on the floor.

Yeosang heard the noise and turned around right away. He saw me lying down on the floor, winching in pain. He got up and ran to me.

《Are you okay?》 he asked, worried

I tried to sit up and he helped me. I held the part of my head that I hit on the ground and winced again, shutting my eyes. Thankfully, I wasn’t bleeding.

《Wait a minute》 he said 《I’ll be right back》

He got up and run away. I sat with my back to the wall and waited. After a minute he came back with a bag of ice in his hands. He sat next to me and put the ice on my head. 

《Ouch》 I said, when he touched the painful area

《Sorry》 he replied 

《I’m so stupid》 I whispered to myself. Why do I always do dangerous stuff that will hurt me?

Yeosang heard me but didn’t say anything. We stayed sat there for a while, and he kept pressing the ice on my head. 

《You should probably go home》 he said after some time 《Is there anyone who can come and pick you up?》

《No》 I replied 《I can just go home on foot》

《I didn’t even come with my car today》 he said to himself 《And Yunho is busy now. He won’t come before an hour at least》

《I can just walk home》 I said again

He looked at me and I saw in his eyes that he felt bad for me. Maybe he was feeling guilty for not helping me and telling me to use the chair.

《I’ll walk you home》 he said

《You don’t have to》 I replied 《I can go alone》

《I don’t want you to go alone. What if you faint while walking home?》 he said, then realized something and his eyes widened 《Forget going home, I’ll take you to the hospital》

《No!》 I almost yelled 《I don’t want to go to the hospital》

He looked at me confused and slowly nodded.

《I’ll walk you home then》

He helped me get up and stayed close to me all the way to my house, ready to catch me in case I passed out or tripped. When I arrived in front of my house I thanked him.

《Put ice on your head》 he said 

《I will》 I replied 《Thanks for walking with me》

I waved at him and went in. Thankfully my mom wasn’t home yet. I took a bag of ice from the kitchen and put it on my head while I was doing my homework. At around 11 pm my mom arrived home.

《What the hell are you doing with the ice?》 she said

I cursed at myself in my head for not putting it away earlier.

《I hit my head today at school》 I replied

《That’s what you get for being fucking clumsy》 she said 《You’re an adult and can’t even move without creating a mess》

I ignored her and kept studying.

《Hey!》 she yelled 《Look at me when I’m talking》

I turned around and looked at her.

《You know what I found out today?》 she asked

I shook my head.

《I found out you’re in detention at school》

My eyes widened in shock. How did she even find out? Did the principal call her in the end?

《It was an accident》 I said, my voice cracking 

《I don’t care》 she yelled 《You’re a fucking disappointment, you should be ashamed of yourself》

《I’m really sorry-》

《Get out》 she said 《I don’t want to see you until tomorrow evening》 

《Mom, please-》 I tried to beg her to let me stay but she cut me off again

《Get the fuck out!》

I took my bag and run out. I walked back to school, crying. I went to the gym’s changing room and made myself comfortable in the same place as the last time. Just before I fell asleep, I thought that this would be my life for the rest of the year. I was afraid I’d have to stay in that changing room for more time than I could spend at home. 

The next morning I got up and went to school, again trying to act as if everything was fine. The firsts hours of the day passed quickly and I was glad when it was finally lunch time, because the night before I didn’t have a chance to eat, so I was starving since lunch of the day before. That day Minha had something to do so I would have been alone at lunch. 

While I was going to the canteen I bumped into someone.

《Sorry》 I said

I looked at the boy and noticed he was the same boy who came to pick up Yeosang the other days.

《You look drained》 he said 《Are you okay?》

《I’m just hungry》 I replied

《Will you let me treat you to lunch?》 he asked

I looked at him surprised.

《The food here at school isn’t the best》 he added 《Let’s go out to eat something better. I’l pay》

Honestly, I didn’t care about the fact that I didn’t know him. I was hungry and the idea of eating something from outside was too tempting. 

《Okay》 I replied 

We went to a little restaurant near the school. When we sat at the table he told me I could order everything I wanted, so I ordered almost everything I could think of. When the food arrived I started devouring everything.

《Were you starving yourself?》 he asked

《Just hungry》 I replied, with my mouth full of food

He chuckled and started eating as well.

《Yeosang told me you hit your head yesterday》 he said 《Are you okay?》

《It still hurts a bit, but I’m fine》 I replied 《Thanks for asking》

He kept talking while eating.

《You’re in the same class as Hongjoong, right?》 he asked

《Yes》 I replied 《Why? Did he complain about me?》

He looked a bit taken back by my question. He looked hesitant.

《Well… I mean… he…》 he tried to form a complete sentence, but couldn’t think of an answer

《It’s okay》 I said 《You can say it. I won’t get mad, or offended》

《Don’t take it personal》 he said 《He just has a bad attitude》

I smiled a little bit. Everyone kept saying that. I wonder if it was even real.

We kept eating in silence, but it wasn’t a weird silence. It was actually really comfortable and relaxing. Like I was out with a friend. When we both finished he payed and we went back to school. 

《I just realized I didn’t even introduce myself》 he said, turning to look at me 《I’m Yunho》

《I’m Y/N, but I think you already know it》

He smiled and I couldn’t help but smile back. How was he one of the bad boys of the school? Yes, he was tall and maybe that could be intimidating, but he had the face of a puppy. 

《Yunho!》 someone called

We both turned around to see the rest of QK Fellas looking at us. Hongjoong was in the front, glaring at me. 

《I have to go》 he told me 《It was nice spending time with you》

《Bye》 I said 

He walked to the rest of the boys, and as soon as he got closer to them, Yeosang asked him something, looking at me. I turned around and went in the building. It was almost time for lessons to start again.  


	3. THREE

The next day, when I arrived in class, Minha came to me running. 

《I heard you were hanging around with Yunho yesterday, is that true?》 she said 

《Yes》 I said, confused about why she was asking me that 《We went to eat lunch together》

《Why?》 she asked 《Are you crazy? I told you that you have to be careful of those guys, why don’t you listen to me?》

The way she was talking was starting to irritate me.

《You don’t get to decide who I hang out with or not》 I said 《And I don’t really see them the way you always portrait them. Even if they are the horrible guys you say they are, I will find it out on my own, not by reported stories》

She looked offended and left the class without replying. Right when she was getting out, she bumped into Hongjoong. Her eyes went wide. She bowed, apologized and ran away. He then looked at me. For the first time since that day, it wasn’t an angry look. It was actually blank. I was a bit relieved. Every kind or look was better than his angry glare.

He went to his seat and put his head on the desk. Today he probably just wanted to sleep thought the lesson. I heard he did it a lot.

At the end of the lesson the teacher came to me, asking to go to another class at the end of the following lesson because he needed to ask me a favor. So, an hour later I went to him. When I arrived in the class, there were only the teacher and a boy. A familiar boy, actually.

《Great》 said the teacher 《Now that everyone is here I can explain why I called you both》

The teacher turned to look at me 《You, Y/N, are the best student of my course. You haven’t been here for long, but your grades are the best, and your grades from your old schools were just as good》

Then he turned to the boy 《You, instead, are the worst. You have the lowest grades out of all of my classes and if you keep getting bad grades you’ll have to repeat the year》

The boy scoffed and the teacher glared at him, before focusing his attention back to me.

《I’d like it if you tutored him and helped him get better grades》 he said 《Of course you would get special credits for that, it won’t just be for free》

Upon hearing the proposal of the teacher, the boy looked at him, surprised.

《I don’t want to do it》 he said

《If she agrees you won’t have a choice》 replied the teacher

《I’ll do it》 I said

《Great!》 he clapped and smiled, relieved

The boy, on the other hand, didn’t look really pleased. 

《I’m Y/N》 I said to him

He looked at me with disgust and left the room.

《His name is Jongho》 replied the teacher 《He’s a bit difficult. I hope you’ll find a way to get him to work》

I sighed. Why do I always meet “difficult” people? I ran out of the class and searched for Jongho. Luckily he didn’t have the chance to go too far. He didn’t notice I was running to him, so he was surprised when I grabbed his arm to stop him.

《We need to decide a place and a time for the tutoring》 I told him

《I’m not going to come, so don’t even waste your time》 he replied 

《If you fail you’ll have to repeat the year》 I said

《I don’t care》 

He started walking away again.

《I’ll wait in the library every day after school》 I told him. Since the week of cleaning the school was finally over, I had free time again.

I knew that he had heard me, but he didn’t reply. He just ignored me and went away. 

At the end of the day I walked to the library and sat at one of the tables near the entrance, so that I would be able to notice him when he arrived. If he was going to arrive. That day it didn’t happen, and neither it did the following days. I was hoping he would show up at some point, if I kept going there. 

Truth is, he didn’t come for the first three days, but then on the fourth day he casually walked past the library and saw me from outside. He was curious to know if I was going there for him or not, so he kept passing by the library for every following day. He never got in though. He didn’t want to study and he was sure no one was going to change that. 

He was spying me from outside on the day my phone rang while I was in there. I sat up and went outside, to be able to talk without getting yelled at by the librarian. I looked at the phone and felt anxious right away.

《Hello?》 I said, picking up 

《Where the hell are you?》 shouted my mother

《I’m at school》 I replied 《I have to tutor a kid》

《Why are you doing something so useless? He’ll fail anyway》

《It’s not just for him》 I said 《The teacher is giving me credits for my work》

《That’s good》 she replied 《You were in detention once and that’s going to be on your school report forever. You should do everything you can to get on the teacher’s good side again》

《That was an accident and they know it》 I tried to explain 《They never saw me like a delinquent》

《You know nothing about how these things work so don’t try to tell me that I’m wrong, because I’m not》 she yelled 《Just go tutor that kid and if you fail to make him pass don’t you dare come back home》

She hang up and I took a shaky breath. I’m confident about my ability to tutor someone, but if Jongho didn’t show up it was going to get difficult. How could I get him to come to our lesson? 

《What do I do?》 I asked myself

While I was thinking of a solution, I didn’t notice that Jongho was right behind me and that he had clearly heard the whole call. 

After a while I came back inside, ready to give in and take my things to go back home, but when I got to the table I stopped dead in my track, shocked by the sight of Jongho sitting there, with his books in front of him.

《Aren’t you supposed to teach me?》 he said 《What are you doing still there?》

I quickly sat next to him and took my books out. He subtly looked at me while I was organizing my notes. I knew he could notice that I was upset but he didn’t say anything. 

I showed him my notebook and some exercises, then we opened the book and went through every topic together. I tried to explain everything the best I could, but I wasn’t sure if he was really understanding what I was saying or not. He looked like he was really focused on what I was saying, but he never said anything. He didn’t nod to make me know he got the exercise right, nor he ever said he didn’t understand something. He just listened.

《Will I see you again tomorrow?》 I asked, once the lesson was over

《Of course》 he replied 《The exam is in a couple of days. You have to prepare me》

I was surprised that he suddenly wanted to do this. What made him change his mind?

I was even more surprised when I found out he kept his word and came again to the library the next day. And he kept coming to the lessons even the following days. I was so happy that I could finally teach him, but I was still nervous. I knew that he payed attention to everything I said, but I wasn’t sure if he was really studying. On the last day, I kept repeating to him what he had to revise and the exercise he had to do again to be sure he had understood. That night I couldn’t sleep since I was so anxious. Thankfully, I knew he would get the result of his exams on the same day he took it, so at least the anxiety was only going to last for one more day.

The next day I went to school, but couldn’t focus on almost anything for the first hours. During lunch I had to eat alone because Minha was still upset with me for not listening to her. When I sat down I glanced at KQ Fellaz’s table, but Jongho wasn’t with them. I didn’t know if it was a good sign or not. When I finished eating I decided to take a walk in the schoolyard, to ease my mind.

《Y/N!!》 someone yelled

I turned around and saw Jongho running to me. I couldn’t read the expression on his face and it made me even more nervous. He stopped right in front of me, and tried to catch his breath.

《I did it!》 he said 《I got an A-》

For the first time since I met him, he smiled. I took a deep breath and finally felt relieved. 

《I’m so proud of you》 I said

《It’s all thank to you》 he replied 

《Does this mean you’ll keep studying?》 I asked, hopeful

《I don’t think so, studying was pretty exhausting》 he said 《But at least with this you can get your credits》

I was confused for a second. Did he study just so that I could get the credits?

He seemed to realize what he just said, and in a second he was back to his serious expression. 

《I have to go now》 he said 

He began to walk away, when he stopped and turned around.

《Don’t think that because you tutored me we are friends now》 he added

He turned around again and disappeared from my sight. 

What did just happen?


	4. FOUR

I was going back into the building when I bumped into Minha.

《Was that Jongho?》 she asked, disapproval evident in her voice

《Yes》 I replied 《Look, I just had to tutor him, we were not hanging out or anything》

I frowned to myself. Why was I trying to justify myself?  She scoffed.

《I don’t care》 she said, walking away

I sighed. I knew that she didn’t like those boys, and I understood her point of view, but I couldn’t understand why she was so upset to me for talking to them. I mean, most of the times it wasn’t even my choice. I wanted to talk to her. She was the only one I actually talked to at school and we could become good friends. I didn’t want to ruin this opportunity.

Lunch break was over, so I went back to class, but Minha wasn’t there. She skipped all the lessons that afternoon. It looked like she wanted to avoid me.

At the end of the day, I took my things and walked out of school. I was one of the last people to leave. As soon as I exited the building, I found two boys in front of me.

《Sorry》 I said, trying to walk past them 《I need to pass》

《You’re not going anywhere》 one of them said

I tried to turn around to enter the school again, but Minha and another boy were stopping me. 

《What is going on?》 I asked Minah

《You never listen to me》 she replied 《So I guess we’ll have to get it into your head somehow》

I didn’t have time to understand what was going on that one of the boys pushed me to the wall, making me hit my head.

《I was trying to be nice》 Minha said 《I told you what kind of boys they are, I told you what horrible things they had done, but you still don’t listen》

They kept getting closer to me. I tried to escape, but they pushed me back. One of the boys grabbed my jaw, to make me look at Minah while she talked. 

In that moment, the only two people passing by where San and Seonghwa. They were talking to each other, when San noticed something from afar and pointed it out to his friend.

《What is going on there?》 San asked

They stopped and looked at the scene. 

《Wait, isn’t that the girl who was with Yunho the other day?》 asked Seonghwa 

Then they saw one of the boys pushing me hard to the wall and their eyes widened in surprise. They didn’t have to say anything. They both started running to the group in a second.

《Let her go!》 San yelled

Minha and the boys turned around. They boys started looking anxious, while Minha looked completely terrified. In a second she was gone. The boys looked at each other, not knowing what to do now that their “boss” wasn’t there with them. 

Seonghwa pushed away the boy who was attacking you, while San glared at the other two. I looked at San. His eyes were as cold as ice, but at the same time there was a scary fire in it. It was the type of glare that can dig holes in someone’s heart. 

The three boys stepped back.

《Get the fuck out of here》 hissed San

He didn’t have to say it twice. They run away in less than a second. San kept glaring at them, until they were so far that you couldn’t see them anymore.

《Are you okay?》 asked Seonghwa 

I looked at him, who was sincerely worried. 

《Yes》 I replied, but my voice cracked 

《Are you sure?》 he asked

This time I only nodded. 

《Are you going home?》 asked San

《Yes》

《Do you want us to go with you?》 he asked 《In case they come back》

《No, no!》 I replied 《I’ll be okay don’t worry》

《If they bother you again, tell us》 said Seonghwa 《We’ll be happy to teach them a lesson》

《Thanks?》 I replied, flustered

They were about to say something else, but I cut them off.

《I should probably go now》 I said

I took my backpack and walked away as fast as I could, without it looking like I was running away. I faced palmed mentally. Why do all the weird things always happen to me? Why do I always get involved with KQ Fellaz? I wanted to live a quiet and normal year in this school. Why is everything going wrong?

I was waiting for the street light to turn green, so that I could cross the road, when I started feeling dizzy. Before I could react, I saw black.

When I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was the white ceiling of the hospital. I tried to sit on the bed, but groaned at my aching head.

《Are you okay, young one?》 someone asked

I turned around and saw an old lady sitting on the bed on the other side of the room.

《My head hurts》 I replied

《I bet it does》 she replied 《They said you fainted in the street and hit your head on the ground》

The doctor entered the room.

《You’re finally awake》 he said 《We already took some exams while you were unconscious and we are waiting for the results. You will have to wait some more》

《It’s okay》 I replied

The doctor checked the drip and then left. I had nothing to do, so I sat on the bed and looked outside of the window. After some time someone entered the room.

《Mrs Lee!》 a deep voice said 

I wasn’t interested in seeing who it was, so I just kept looking out of the window.

《Oh!》 the lady in your room said 《Mingi!》

《How are you doing?》 he asked

《Always the same》 she replied 《Did you come again to check on your grandma?》

《Yes. She’s sleeping now so I decided to go around for a while》 

《You’re a good grandson》 she said 《I wish my grandchildren were like you》

《Ah! Not everyone is perfect like me》 he joked 

She laughed. He got distracted for a second and noticed that there was someone else in the room. Noticing that he was looking my way, the lady said 《We have a new guest today》

He stepped closer to have a better look at my face, and gasped.

《I know you!》 he said

I finally turned around and looked at him. He was familiar, but I was sure I didn’t know him.

《I saw you with Yunho the other day!》

Ah… he was another one of the boys of KQ Fellaz.

《My name’s Mingi》 he said, smiling

《I’m Y/N》 I replied, then turned again to the window

He took a chair and sat next to my bed. I looked at him, confused.

《Why are you here?》 he asked 

《I fainted in the street》 I replied 

《Are you waiting for the results of your tests?》

《Yes》

《I’ll wait with you then》 he said

At this point, saying I was confused was an understatement. What was even going on? 

I looked at Mingi’s smiley face. For a second the thought of him being adorable passed through my mind, but then I remembered he was a member of the famous gang of my school.

《Why?》 I asked

This time, it was him who looked confused.

《Because I want to》 he replied, like it was obvious 

《Isn’t he the kindest?》 said the lady from the other bed

I nodded to her, just so she wouldn’t argue with me, then looked again at the boy next to me.

《It will take some time》 I warned him

《I have nothing to do》 he replied, shrugging 

《Okay then》 I said, giving in.

At first you both looked outside of the window in silence, but then he couldn’t keep quiet anymore and started asking question.

《Why were you with Yunho the other day?》 he asked

He wasn’t exactly curious to know why. He just wanted to have a conversation.

《He bought me lunch》 I replied

《Yunho is not the only one you know of our group, is he?》

《I don’t exactly “know” you guys, but I met almost all of you》 I replied, then started listing who I met and how I met them 《Hongjoong is in my class. I met Yeosang in detention. I had to tutor Jongho. And earlier today I met other two of you, but I don’t know their names》

《Can you describe them?》 he asked

《One was blonde and the other one had black hair with red strands》

《They’re Seonghwa and San》 he said 

《San looked kinda scary》 I said, more to myself

《Why?》 he asked, confused 《What did he do?》

《He scared away some guys that were bothering me》 I replied 《He didn’t even have to do anything, they just fled away as soon as they met his gaze》

《He’s one of the scariest when he’s angry》 said Mingi

Then, finally, the doctor entered the room.

《I see you have company》 he said, smiling 

I looked at Mingi for a second, whose attention was focused on the doctor. 

《From your exams everything looks fine. You had hit your head when you fell, but it looks like you had already hit it more than once before fainting. We think that was the main reason why you passed out. I suggest you to rest for a day》 He said 《You can go home now if you want》

The doctor left and I thought about what he said. I had hit my head days before when I fell from the chair while cleaning, and I hit it also this afternoon, when the boys kept pushing me to the wall. I guess my head couldn’t take it anymore.

《Come on》 said Mingi, standing up 《Let’s go check you out of here》

I said goodbye to the old lady and went away with Mingi, to sign all the papers. 

《I’ll take you home》 he said

《You don’t have to》 I replied 

《The doctor said you should rest》 he said 《You can’t just go home like this. What if you faint again?》

Before I could answer, he started walking out of the hospital. I didn’t know what to do or say, so I just followed him. He stopped in front of a motorcycle and handed me a helmet. He got on and looked at me.

《Aren’t you going to get on?》 he asked

I sat right behind him, trying to keep my distance. He took my hands and put them around his waist. 

《Be careful》 he said 《I don’t want you to fall off》

《O-okay》 I stuttered 

《Are you ready?》 he asked

《Yes》 I replied, but NO, I wasn’t ready at all.

He turned on the engine and went on the road. His broad shoulders were shielding me from the wind, but I could still feel the breeze on my face and it was great. This, added to the speed, made me feel free for the first time in my life. When we stopped in front of my house, I was sad it was already over. I got off and handed him the helmet back. 

《Thanks for the ride》 I said

《No problem》 he replied 《Be sure to rest》

We said goodbye and he started the engine again, going away. I looked at the door of my house and sighed, before going in. I hope my mom isn’t home.


	5. FIVE

I was lucky my mom wasn’t home. She had left a note on the table saying that she wouldn’t be home for a couple of days. Maybe knowing that made me a bit too relaxed, since the next day I woke up late. I jumped off the bed as soon as I saw the time. I run to the bathroom and washed myself, then quickly dressed up. It was too late to take the bus, and if I just walked to school I would be late for sure. I ran to the garage and took out my old bike. I was desperate to get to school in time. I pedaled as fast as I could and arrived at school just a couple of minutes before the first period started. 

Since I was in time, I slowed down a bit and tried to catch my breath. I was walking to the bicycle rack, dragging my bike next to me. I was passing by the cars who were parked in the parking lot, when someone pushed me and I lost my grip of my bike. Since luck was never on my side, the bike fell on a car. A very expensive car, to be precise. 

《Fuck!》 I said, panicking 

I looked at the car and felt like dying. It was scratched.

《What the hell!》 someone yelled

The owner of the car got off and looked at me, completely furious.

《I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to-》

He cut me off, taking me by the collar of my shirt and lifting me from the ground. His face was inches from mine. 

《Don’t think you can get away with ruining my car》 he hissed

I gulped. _Now I’m seriously screwed_ , I thought.

《Wooyoung, what are you doing?》 asked Yunho, who was running to us

Yunho carefully removed Wooyoung’s grip from my shirt and I took a step back.

《Move》 said Wooyoung to his friend 《She fucking scratched my car!》

《I’m sure it wasn’t intentional》 he tired to reason with him, but it wasn’t working

《I don’t care》 he yelled 《She ruined it!》

Yunho was about to talk again, but Wooyoung shoved him away and stepped closer to me.

《You have to pay for it》 he said 《I don’t care if you have to sell your house or whatever. You’re gonna pay to get it fixed》

《You’re rich, why do you need her to pay for it?》 asked Yunho

Wooyoung turned around and shot a glare to his friend. 

《She caused the trouble, so she has to fix it》

He then turned to look at me again.

《If you don’t pay within tomorrow I’ll make sure you won’t be able to cause any other problem》

He looked at me one more time and walked away, still furious. Yunho gave me an awkward smile and run after Wooyoung. I took out my bike and noticed that everyone was looking at me. They probably saw what happened. 

I went to class and sat at my table. Hongjoong entered just a second before the bell rang. As soon as he saw me he chuckled.

《You’re really screwed this time》 he said, walking past me

《I know》 I whispered to myself

I spent the rest of the morning listing the ways I could find the money to pay Wooyoung. I searched on the internet to find out how much the fixing would cost. I haven’t got any money left, since I had to pay for the television I broke not too long before. The only way I could get the money, was by selling something of value. But I was sure I had nothing like that at home. 

After hours of thinking and listing objects, I remember I had something. When the bell of lunch break rang, I ran out of the school and rushed home. I went back in the garage and climbed on the shelves to get to the old boxes. In those boxes there were my grandparent’s things. My mom kept them there, but I was sure she never even opened them. She probably even forgot we kept them. I opened the box and the first thing I saw was a photo of a fetus me with my grandma. My grandma was wearing the exact same necklace that I was looking for.

I took everything out of the first box, but couldn’t find it. I opened every box and took everything out but the necklace was nowhere to be seen. I was panicking and I was on the verge of tears, when I saw a little box. I quickly took it and opened it. Right in it there was the necklace. I knew it was expensive, so it was the perfect thing. 

I looked at the photo of me and my grandma.

《I’m so sorry》 I said 《It’s the only thing I can do》

I put everything inside the boxes and put the them where they were. I searched on my phone for the position of the nearest pawn shop and went there. I couldn’t get the amount of money I wanted, but I still had a lot more that I thought they would give me. I put the money in an envelope and headed back to school. When I arrived, KQ Fellaz was walking out of the canteen. I don’t know what overcame me, that gave me the courage, but I was surprised myself. I went to them and stopped right in front of the whole group. They were all looking at me like I was crazy.

《What do you want?》 asked Hongjoong

I ignored him and looked at Wooyoung. I handed him the envelope and he took it, suspicious.

《That’s all I can give you》 I said 《If you need more money to fix your car… I will probably need some time. I’ll find a job and pay you back. I promise》

《I’ll let you know if I need more》 he said, with an evil smirk

He was enjoying seeing me like this. He wanted to torture me. They all moved at the same time, and passed by me, leaving me there in the middle of the schoolyard, looking like a fool. I released the breath I didn’t know I was holding and let myself fall on the ground. I sat there for a couple minutes, not caring about the looks the other students were giving me. What was happening to my life? Was this some sort of humorous sign from the universe that was telling me I was destined to live a horrible life?

Suddenly, someone crouched in front of me. It was Yunho.

《Get up》 he said 《People are staring》

We got up and he told me to follow him. We went into an empty classroom and he took a chocolate milk carton out his bag, giving it to me. I sat on top of a desk and drank the milk. He sat next to me and watched my expression. I didn’t know why but I felt comfortable with Yunho. He was definitely kinder with me, than the rest of the boys, but that wasn’t the reason. I just had the feeling that I could trust him with everything.

《Where did you find so much money in just a couple hours?》 he asked 《I know you’re not rich, and I’m pretty sure you didn’t ask your parents to help you out》

《I sold my grandma’s old necklace》 I admitted 《It was the only valuable thing I had, and selling it was the only way I could get the money》

《You could have asked Wooyoung to give you some time, or maybe you could have told him you could pay him back later, maybe with interests》 he said 《You didn’t have to sell that necklace》

《He doesn’t look like the type of guy who gives in to compromises》 I said 《And you saw how angry he was this morning. I was probably already lucky that he didn’t kill me on the spot》

《You could have still tried, maybe he-》

《Yunho》 I cut him off 《It was the only way, okay?》

I took my backpack and walked to the door.

《Goodbye》 I said 《And… thanks for the talk and the milk, I guess》

I walked way and left him in the empty classroom. I went to my class and tried to focus on my lessons. Everyone at school kept looking at me, probably for what happened that morning, and it bothered me. They were looking at me as if I was about to go to war and never come back again. Well… that was probably my fate. I was sure that all of the things that were happening in those days would kill me someday. If Wooyoung didn’t kill me, it would have been my mom. I was screwed.

That night I couldn’t sleep. I was too anxious. I didn’t know if Wooyoung thought the money was enough. I didn’t know if he would get back at me in some other way. I didn’t know what I would have done if my mom found out. I was afraid of what my classmates and teachers would think of me after the trouble I caused.  The next day I went to school walking like a zombie. When I entered the schoolyard everyone turned to look at me. Most of them were whispering things to each others, giving me dirty looks. 

Unconsciously, I walked right past Wooyoung again. He was standing with his arms crossed, leaning on his car. I saw him, but tried to act like I didn’t. I was scared of him. 

《Hey! You》 he yelled 

I didn’t have to hear my name, to know he was calling me. I turned around.

《Yes?》 I said

《Come here》 he said

I got closer to him, but still kept a safe distance. He took something out of his pocket and handed it to me. It was a small box. I took it and opened it, confused.

《This… is my necklace》 I said, surprised 

《Yes》 

《How? Why?》 I stuttered

《Yunho nagged me all day yesterday》 he said 《He kept defending you and saying you had to sell something to get the money. He did his best to make me feel guilty》

Since I wasn’t replying, he kept talking.

《You can have it back. As Yunho already said, I have enough money to pay for my car myself》 he said 《I will let you off the hook this time》

《Really?》 I asked, incredulous 

《Yes》 he said 《But don’t get too excited. I still want you to do something》

《Do what?》

《Apparently you have met all of us. Some of us like you more than others. For example Yunho won’t shut up about you》 he said 《I got curious and I want to know what kind of person you are, so I want you to come to the bowling palace tonight》

《Why?》

《All of us will be there》 he replied 《It will be your chance to get to befriend us》

《I don’t have a choice, do I?》

《No》 he replied, smirking

I sighed.

《I guess I will see you tonight then》

《Don’t be late》 

He jokingly waved and walked away, with that smirk still on his face.

Meeting all of KQ Fellaz at once was probably a suicide mission, but at least we would be in a public place. If someone attacked me, the other people there would react and save me, right?

At least Wooyoung gave me back the necklace and told me he would pay for the car. That was my main concern.


	6. SIX

Did they invite me to stand me up? Were they going to kidnap me? Was I going to get killed?

Those were just a few of the thoughts I had all day long at school, and then at home when I was getting ready. I didn’t dress up for the occasion, since I didn’t really know what was going to happen. I mean, if I was going to die I probably would have liked to die in a nice dress, but I still wore something more comfortable, in case I had to run and live like an outcast in some alley for the rest of my life. 

I arrived at the bowling palace and stared at the entrance for a while. I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. I just wanted to go back home, but if I did it would probably irritate Wooyoung, and I didn’t want to see him angry again. It was scary the first time and I didn’t want to be there for a second time.

I took a deep breath and entered the place. I walked past the machines and games for kids and went to the bowling place. Unfortunately, there weren’t a lot of people there. There was only a family with kids and a couple. KQ Fellaz were sitting in the chairs of the bowling lane in the middle on the room. Wooyoung turned around and saw me. He gestured to me to go to them. The rest of the boys turned around to see me only once I was in front of them.

《What the hell are you doing here?》 asked Hongjoong, angry

I was taken back. Did Wooyoung invite me without telling the others?

《I invited her》 said Wooyoung

They all looked at him, shocked.

《What would posses you to do that?》 asked Jongho

《I think it’ll be nice to get to know her》

《Meeting her around school and hanging out with her are two different things》 said Seonghwa in a calm tone

《She shouldn’t be here》 said Yeosang

《Come on, don’t be like that》 said Wooyoung 《It’s not gonna hurt anyone to try and be friendly for once》

《I think you forgot who takes decisions here. You shouldn’t have done it without asking me first》 groveled Hongjoong, but his friend did not look scared of him at all

《If she stays here, I’m going》 said Jongho

He got up, and San, Yeosang and Hongjoong got up with him. They were about to walk away, and the others were about to follow them, when Wooyoung called them all.

《You can’t go》 he said 《You all own something to me remember? I said I’d ask something back when it was time, and now it’s the time. I want you all to seat back down and enjoy the company》

The boys looked hesitant, but then Wooyoung spoke again.

《You don’t have a choice. You know it’s better not to have debts with me》

They sighed and sat back down. Hongjoong glared at me. 

I was uncomfortable. They clearly didn’t want me there and they clearly didn’t like me. It wasn’t worth staying there. They would probably just insult me for the whole night and I didn’t want to hear it. If I went away in that moment, Wooyoung couldn’t get angry at me. At least I went there. The plan was to go, not to stay.

《This was a bad idea》 I said, avoiding eye contact with everyone 《You clearly don’t want me here and I understand that. I shouldn’t have come. I’m sorry. I’ll go now》

I felt so out of place and uncomfortable that I found it really hard to hold back the tears. I turned around and walked away. After a couple of steps someone grabbed my arm.

《You’re not going anywhere》 said Wooyoung 《I invited you to play with us and you are staying with us. That’s final》

I was looking at the ground, because I was scared that looking at him would make me break down. Then he stepped a little bit closer and spoked in a quieter tone, so that the boys wouldn’t hear.

《Just trust me, okay?》 he said. His tone of voice was different. It sounded… soft. 

I finally looked at him and saw a new look in his eyes. Something I hadn’t seen before and that I couldn’t identify. He gently dragged me back to where they were.

《What are we waiting?》 he said 《Let’s make the teams!》

They started playing rock paper scissors to decide the two captains of the team. Hongjoong and Jongho ended up being the captains. The played again to decide who had to be the first one to choose, and Jongho lost. 

Hongjoong picked San, the Jongho picked Mingi, the leader picked Yeosang and the other Seonghwa. Then Hongjoong picked Yunho. It was Jongho’s turn and only me and Wooyoung were left. Jongho knew what that meant and smirked.

《I choose Wooyoung》 he said

Hongjoong groaned. That meant I was in his team, and he wasn’t happy. I sat next to them and we started the game. The captains were the first ones to play and then the others, in the order we were called before. The other team was more competitive because they felt at disadvantage since we had one more member. When it was finally my turn, I went to choose my ball. I tried to choose one that wasn’t too heavy. I positioned myself in front of the lane and threw the ball, but it ended in the gutters right away. My team groaned and the other team cheered. 

《What are you doing?》 yelled Hongjoong 《Don’t you know how to play?》

《Actually… I have never played bowling before》 I replied

He was shocked.

《We’re doomed》 he said, sitting back down

I ignored what he said and took another ball. I got in front of the lane again and looked at the pins, anxious. I kept looking at them, without doing anything. Then, someone came near me.

《You have to do it like this》 said Mingi, showing me how to hold the ball and how it should be thrown

《Did you understand?》 he asked

《Yes, thanks》 I replied

He smiled and went back to his team.

《What are you doing? You shouldn’t help the other team》 I heard Jongho say

《Come on, it’s not like it will make that much of a difference》 replied Mingi

I took a deep breath and threw the ball just like Mingi showed. I watched it roll in a perfect straight line and hit and take down the first pin and then all the others behind. 

The boys behind me where all silent, with their eyes and mouths wide open for the shock.

《I did it》 I whispered to myself, not really believing it.

After they recovered from the shock my team started cheering. San was so happy that he ran to me, took me up and spun me around. After that round, basically every time I threw the ball it was a strike. The other team occasionally beat Mingi up for showing me how to do it, but he looked like he didn’t care. He smiled every time he notices I was looking.

At the end of the game, our team won. The losing team had to buy snacks for everyone and we celebrated a little with the food. The boys looked like they were getting comfortable around me. They didn’t really talk to me that much, but they didn’t hold themselves back and they weren’t looking at me like I wasn’t supposed to be there anymore. I had to admit that being around them wasn’t that bad after all. For the first time in a while I spent a nice night out. 

At the end of the night Wooyoung offered to take me home but I declined. My house wasn’t that far away so I just walked there. When I entered my house I noticed my mom still hadn’t came back, so I just went to bed, relieved that I didn’t have to make up an excuse about why I was out till late. 

The next day I went to school with no expectation. I knew they were the bad boys of the school and just because we hung out one night it didn’t mean I was suddenly one of them. I knew they probably wouldn’t even talk to me a school, and I just accepted it. Just when the bell of the first period was about to ring, Hongjoong entered the class, and instead of sitting in his usual seat, he sat next to me. I looked at him, confused.

《Why are you sitting here?》 I asked, genuinely curious 

《The boys seem to really like you, so I thought that for the sake of our friendship, I should try to get along with you too》 he replied without looking at me

 《You really don’t have to force yourself, I know you hate me》 I replied sadly 《If the others want to talk or spend time with me I can still do it even if you and I don’t get along》

《Sure, I don’t like you… but I don’t hate you either》 he replied

I failed to hold back a smile.

《You know, that’s probably the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me》 I replied 

He finally looked at me and for a second he smiled too. Then the teacher entered and started the lesson. 

《The boys want you to have lunch with us today》 he whispered to me 《Is that okay with you?》

《Of course》 I replied 《Why wouldn’t I want to?》

《I don’t know》 he said, shrugging 《Maybe you don’t want to be seen with us in public》

《I actually thought that you guys wouldn’t want to be seen with me in public. I came to school convincing myself that it was okay if you all decided to ignore me today》

《We probably would have done that in a normal situation, but you’re different》 he replied

That’s all I needed to know. The fact that they thought that I was different and that they wanted to be friends with me made me feel really good. I thought that maybe for once I was going to have real friends. People who actually cared about me.

When the last bell of the morning rang, Hongjoong and I got up and went to the canteen together. We didn’t chat with each other during class, or while we were going to the canteen, but it wasn’t awkward. It was like we could communicate without talking. We arrived there and took the food we wanted to eat, and then we headed to their table. The other were already there. When they saw us, San got up from his seat and pointed it out to me.

《Sit here》 he said, smiley 

I sat where he told me, and then he sat on the chair on my left. On my right there were Seonghwa and Wooyoung next to him. On the other side of the table there were Hongjoong, Jongho, Yeosang, who was in front of me, Yunho and Mingi.

《How was the first half of the day?》 Yunho asked to me

《Boring》 replied Hongjoong, without looking at us, but just focusing on his food

《He didn’t ask you》 said San, sticking his tongue out at the older boy

Hongjoong playfully glared at him and he smiled brightly. I looked at him and noticed his dimples. They were so cute. San noticed my attention was on him, so he started teasing me.

《Yeah, I have that effect on women》 he said 《They tell me I look like a greek god》

I rolled my eyes.

《More like a kid》 I replied

He looked surprised, but amused.

《I was right about you》 he said smiling 《You’re different》

I looked at him confused.

《Different how? From who?》 I asked

San looked at the others, as to ask for help with the answer. 

《You’re different from everyone else in this school. You’re not scared of us, and you don’t judge us. Or at least, you don’t let it show》 replied Seonghwa

《Maybe she just hasn’t heard about us》 said Yeosang 《She’s new here after all》

《I hear everything, actually》 I replied 《I heard more that I wanted to. Everyone here likes to gossip around, especially Minha》

《You’ve heard the things we did?》 asked Mingi, surprised 

I nodded

《Then why have you never tried to get away from us?》 asked Yeosang

《I don’t know how much of those stories are true, but even if everything they said really happened, I cannot see you like that. I saw you around school, and I met you all occasionally, but you never looked like those boys to me》

They were all suddenly quiet and a bit tense. I started to get worried that I said something wrong.

《Was that too much?》 I asked, but no one answered. 

《I shouldn’t have said anything, I’m sorry》 I said 《Maybe I should let you have lunch in peace》

I was trying to get up and go away, but San gently grabbed my hand.

《Don’t go》 he begged

I sat back down.

《We’re just not used to having someone from outside the group with us》 said Seonghwa 《And we’re definitely not used to people’s sincerity》

I nodded sadly. I wasn’t exactly sure if they were saying the truth, but I just let it pass.

《Tell us about yourself》 said Wooyoung, to change the subject

I looked at them, with wide eyes. They were all waiting, curious to know what I had to say.

《Me?》 I asked, still taken back

《Yes》

《Well… I’m… I…》 I didn’t know what to say 《There is nothing interesting to know about me》

I have no hobbies or passions. Everything I do is go to school and study. My parents are divorced, because my dad loved to spend all of our money without telling us. He had a bad habit of playing cards and he often lost everything he had. I moved in with my mom and we moved a few times, so I changed schools a lot of times. My mom is absent half of the time and the few times she is at home she is abusive and she often forces me to leave the house, because she doesn’t want to see my face. This isn’t something I can just tell to anybody. And even if I wanted to tell them, it would only kill the mood. 

《Really?》 asked Wooyoung 《That can’t be true》

《Maybe she just doesn’t want to talk about it》 replied Jongho, who had been silent since that moment.

I mentally thanked him. Thanks to him they didn’t insist.

《We have time to get to know each other》 said Yunho 《You don’t have to tell us yet if you don’t want to》

《Thanks》 I said

《Are you free after school?》 asked San

《I have to study》 I replied

His smiled disappeared. 《Seriously?》

《Yes》

《She’s a nerdy one》 said Hongjoong

《How about you spend the time with us?》 asked Mingi

《Please》 said San, smiling to try and corrupt me with his dimples 

《I can always study tonight》 I said, giving in

Mingi and San high-fived, happy of the result. It wasn’t a bad idea actually. I needed to loosen up a bit. Maybe this new friendship could really be good for me.


	7. SEVEN

After school we went to the nearest park. We sat down on the grass and just talked about random things.

《Coffee or tea?》 asked San

《Tea》 I answered

《Favorite Color?》 asked Yunho

《Red》

《Winter or Summer?》 asked Mingi

《Spring》 I said

They pestered me with useless questions, just to get to know me better. To be honest, I liked that approach. It was funny and I could just reply with the best things about me. From time to time, when they were running out of questions, I managed to ask them silly things too. I found out that Wooyoung likes strawberries, that Yeosang skates to release stress, that the oldest one wasn’t Hongjoong but Seonghwa, and that Jongho secretly liked singing.

After a while they put music on and started dancing. San tried to get me to dance with them a couple of times, but I always refused. I wasn’t good at dancing, and it was fun enough for me just watching them.

During the hours we spent together I felt like I could forget about my life for a while. Forget about my situation at home, and about the fact that I should have been studying. I was finally happy about something, but the universe had to find a way to ruin it. They had just stopped the music, to take a break, when my phone rang. As soon as I looked at who was calling me, my smile disappeared.

《Yes?》 I answered

《Where the hell are you?》 yelled my mom

《I was just taking a walk outside》 I lied 《It was just a short break from my homework》

《You can’t afford to takes breaks. You should be studying right now and not play around》 she kept yelling 《If you’re not home in 10 minutes I’ll lock you out of the house》

She hung up before I could reply. I looked up at the boys and saw they were all looking at me. What I didn’t know, was that the volume of my phone was high and they heard everything. They were silent because they didn’t know what to say. They didn’t want to comment about it because they didn’t want to make me uncomfortable.

《It was my mom》 I said, faking a smile 《She asked me to go home to help her with house chores. I should probably go》

《I’ll give you a ride》 said Seonghwa

I didn’t say no to his offer, because I needed to get home as fast as I could. I followed him to his car and we got in. The ride to my house was quiet and a bit awkward. He was tense because he didn’t know how to behave, and I was tense because I couldn’t help but think about the consequences I’ll have to face once I get home.When we arrived in front of my house I thanked Seonghwa and run in the house.

《Where were you?》 she asked, furious

《I was just taking a walk》 I repeated

《Bullshit! You were slacking off!》

《I wasn’t-》 I tried to explain, but she cut me off

《You’re going to study for the rest of the night and I’ll keep an eye on you》 she said 《If I see you take breaks, or fall asleep, don’t you dare come back into this house》

I didn’t have a choice. I took my books out and studied. That’s all I did for the rest of the evening and night. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t go to the toilet. I couldn’t sleep. My mom was watching me all night, ready to yell at me if she saw something she didn’t like. The next morning, when the alarm went off, I was still awake.

《Get ready for school》 my mom said, finally leaving my room

I took a deep, shaky, breath and started to get ready. I washed myself and changed my clothes. I did’t want to be home any longer so I left without having breakfast. When I arrived at school I was exhausted.

Right at the entrance of the school, there was Yeosang. As soon as he saw me, he came to me.

《Good morning》 he said, taking my backpack from my shoulders

《What are you doing?》 I asked, confused

《I’m carrying your backpack》 he replied 《It looked heavy》

He did’t wait for my reply. He just started walking towards the school entrance. I shrugged and followed him.

《Are you okay?》 he asked 《You look… exhausted》

He was a bit worried because of the phone call they eavesdropped the day before, but he didn’t want to ask about it in an explicit way.

《I had trouble sleeping》 I lied

I wish that was true. At least I would have lied down and maybe got a minute of sleep. Right in that moment, my stomach growled. I cursed at myself in my head.

《Are you hungry?》 he asked

《Yeah…》 I replied, embarrassed

《Didn’t you have breakfast?》

《I didn’t have the time》 I replied

《That’s not good》 he said, stopping to look at me with a stern look 《You should always eat something》

《I put something in my bag》 I lied 《I will eat it later》

Lying was almost like a hobby for me now. I got so used to telling lies that sometime it was hard even for me to know if what I said was true or not. I didn’t know if Yeosang believed me or not, but he let it pass. We arrived in front of my class and he gave me back my bag.

《Thank you》 I said

《You’re welcome》 he replied 《See you at lunch》

《Bye》 I said, waving him goodbye

I entered the class and waited for the bell to rang. Once the lesson started, I noticed Hongjoong wasn’t in class. He sometimes skipped lessons and other times he just arrived late, but it made me sad that he wasn’t there that day. Then, he entered the room, 30 minutes late. The teacher called his name, and was going to scold him for being late and for not even apologizing when entering the room, but Hongjoong turned around and glared at the teacher, making him shut up in a second.

He sat next to me and put a chocolate muffin and a Starbucks iced tea on my desk.

《Yeosang said you didn’t eat》 he said

I was shocked and didn't know what to say. He bought me breakfast?

《Thanks》

《You’re not going to eat?》 he asked me, seeing that I wasn’t going to touch it

《It’s not polite to eat in class》 I replied 《The teacher will complain》

《Don’t worry about him》 said Hongjoong 《He won’t say anything》

I looked at the teacher, who was doing his best to look everywhere but where Hongjoong and I were.

《Eat》 he replied, serious

I took a bite of the muffin and almost moaned. My stomach ached for food, and chocolate was the perfect solution. I finished my muffin in the blink of an eye and then drank the tea. When I finished everything Hongjoong looked more satisfied than me.

The rest of the morning went rather quickly, but I almost fell asleep a couple of times. Then, during the lunch break I went to sit with KQ Fellaz again. To be honest, I haven’t seen Minha since that day when she cornered me with those boys. I didn’t know where she was and what she was doing. If KQ Fellaz wasn’t there I would have had to spend my time alone.

《Are you hanging out with us today?》 asked Mingi

《I can’t》 I said 《I wasn’t able to study yesterday and I have a really important exam coming up》

《Come on, stay with us for a wile》 said San 《Hongjoong always passes all his exams, and he doesn’t even study》

《San, seriously, I can’t》 I replied

My eyes where desperately asking him and the boys to stop asking me to go with them. They noticed it and all of them thought about the day before and the call from your mom.

《It’s okay》 said Seonghwa 《Whenever you want to hang out with us, we’re always free》

After that I could tell we were all tense and strangely quiet. I felt like I was only using them to escape my reality, and seeing how nervous they were almost every time I said something, made me feel like I was ruining them, like I was destroying their happy side.

At the end of that day I just went home and studied. I finished late at night, but at least that night I could sleep for a couple of hours.

I kept feeling guilty towards the boys, and for the following 3 days I tried to avoid them as much as I could. I tried to talk to Hongjoong in class only if he asked me something, and they were always short answers. I tried to avoid having lunch with them by staying in class and telling them I needed to study something. And every afternoon and evening I told them I already made plans, and that I couldn’t hang out with them.

On the third day, something happened. I was going back to class, after going to the toilet during the lunch break, when someone stopped me. They were two boys, and after looking at their faces, I realized they were two of the boys that were with Minha that day.

《Why are you alone?》 one of them asked, with a smirk on his face 《Have they already had enough of you?》

《Please just let me go》 I replied, more annoyed than seriously scared or worried

《Your new friends are a bad influence》 they said 《You should hang out with us, not with them》

I was about to reply with a something mean, when someone else spoke.

《Is there a problem here?》

I turned around and saw an angry-looking Mingi, and Jongho and Yunho behind him.

They boys stepped back.

《Not so confident now, are you?》 I told them

They glared at me and went away.

《You cause a lot of trouble for someone who is so quiet and reserved》 said Jongho

《I’m sure I’m cursed》 I replied, and he chuckled

《We haven’t seen you in a while》 said Yunho

《Yeah I’m quite busy》 I replied 《Actually, I should be doing something right now. I have to go, see you!》

They stood there, watching me run away for the millionth time in three days. They sighed and went back to the group. When I arrived to the class and saw that they hadn’t followed me, I took a breath of relief. Hongjoong didn’t come back to class after lunch break and after school I didn’t see KQ Fellaz anywhere. I was kind of relieved. At least I didn’t have to run away form them in case I ran into them.

Since it was Friday, I walked home thinking about my plans for the weekend. I didn’t have anything planned, apart from studying. I really wanted to spend some time with the boys but I didn’t want to be a burden to them. When I arrived home my mom wasn’t there, but it wasn’t new. She almost spent every weekend away. It was the best time for her to do what she wanted. I was sure it would also happen that time too, so I tried to relax a bit at home. For the first time in a long time I watched the tv and ordered take out.

It was late at night when I heard the door opening. I got up from the couch and panicked.

《What are you doing?》 she asked, already angry. It was like just the sight of me made her angry every time.

《I was relaxing》 I said, my voice almost a whisper

《You’re a disappointment》 she said 《I break my back everyday to earn money and pay for your education, your food, your things, but you’re always so ungrateful》

《I didn’t mean to-》

《Stop!》 she yelled 《I already have a headache, I don’t want to listen to you. Get out》

《I have nowhere to go, please mom-》

《Get out!》 she yelled in my face

Before I could reply or even grab some of my things, she pushed me out of the house and locked me out. I held back the tears and looked around. It was dark, I was alone, and I didn’t even have my phone with me. Desperate to find somewhere to stay, I started to walk around. I wandered around for almost an hour, when a car suddenly stopped next to me. The driver rolled down the window.

《What are you doing?》

I looked inside the car, to find Seonghwa looking at me, curious.

《I’m just walking around》 I lied

《It’s cold, come in》 he said 《I’ll bring you home》

《No thanks, I’m okay》 I replied

I was about to walk away, when he got off the car and came in front of me.

《You shouldn’t be out alone in the night》 he said 《Just let me bring you back home》

《I can’t go home》 I snapped, a bit harshly than I intended. My eyes were staring to get teary.

《Do you have anywhere you can stay?》 He asked

I shook my head.

《You’re coming with me》

He took my hand and guided me to the car. He opened the door and let me in, then he got in and started the car.

《Where are we going?》 I asked

《To my house》

《Seonghwa you don’t have to-》

《Don’t worry about it》 he replied

I sighed and gave in. I wasn’t in the condition to fight about it, and I didn’t have a place to go, so maybe staying at his house wasn’t a bad idea. He parked the car in front of his house and we went in. As soon as we entered an old woman appeared in front of us.

《Who is this young lady?》 she asked

《She’s Y/N, a friend》 he replied

《I’m Seonghwa’s grandma》 she introduced herself, smiling

I bowed and smiled back.

《Could you prepare the guest room? She’s staying here tonight》 he asked her

《Of course, just give me a minute》

She smiled at me one last time then disappeared. Seonghwa led me to his room and I waited by the door while he looked thought his wardrobe.

《You can change into this》 he said, handing me sweatpants and a hoodie

《Thanks》

《The bathroom is that door》 he said pointing at the last door in the corridor, and then pointing at the door next to it 《And that one is your room》

《Thank you for letting me stay here》 I said, feeling bad

《I’m glad to help, if I can》 he replied, with a reassuring smile

《You’re not gonna ask for an explanation?》 I asked

《I think that if you want to explain it yourself, you should explain it to us all》 he said 《So when you want to talk about it, you can count on all of us》

His grandmother came out of the room and looked at me.

《The room is ready》 she said

《Thank you》

《I’ll see you tomorrow》 said Seonghwa 《Good night》

《Good night》

I went in the room and changed into Seonghwa’s clothes. I laid on the bed and looked at the ceiling. I won’t be able to keep all of this to myself for long. Maybe letting it all out isn’t a bad idea.

 


	8. EIGHT

When I woke up I felt rested. I frowned at first, since it was something I haven’t felt for so long. I turned around and looked at the clock in the nightstand next to the bed and found out it was 11am. How did I even manage to sleep for so long?

I stretched and got up. The corridor was empty and the house in general was really quiet. When I arrived in the kitchen I found Seonghwa sitting on a chair, reading something on his phone.

《Good morning》 I said

He looked up and smiled.

《Well, good morning to you too sleeping beauty》 he teased

《I’m sorry I didn’t mean to oversleep》 I replied

《I’m only joking》 he said 《I’m glad you managed to sleep》

《That bed was too comfortable for my own good》

He chuckled and got up from his seat.

《What do you want to eat?》 he asked

《I’m not hungry. If you have it, can I just have some tea?》

《Sure》

Minutes later he put the mug in front of me. He stood there, leaning on the counter, eating an apple.

《We’re meeting at Wooyoung’s house in less than an hour》 he said 《Would you like to come with us?》

I nodded, shyly.

《I probably own you all an explanation》

When we finished our breakfast, we both went our separate ways and washed up and got changed. Then we got in the car and headed to Wooyoung’s house. When we arrived in front of the house, my mouth fell open. That wasn’t an house. It was a huge villa. Seonghwa chuckled at my reaction.

《Didn’t you know his family is rich?》 he said

《Yeah… but I didn’t think they were THAT rich》 I replied

We got off and entered the house. Seonghwa guided me to the living room, where all the boys were already gathered. The room had three couches surrounding a small table, and there was a huge television hanging on the wall. In the corner of the room there was also a piano and a pool table.

When we entered the room and they turned to us, they all looked surprised to see me. I guess Seonghwa didn’t tell them I was coming.

《Y/N!》 said San, excitement evident in his voice 《We’ve haven’t seen you in a while》

《I know》 I replied 《And it’s only my fault》

《Are you okay?》 asked Yunho, probably sensing my anxiety

《I want to tell you something》 I said 《Something about myself that I’ve never told anyone before》

《Are you sure you want to tell us?》 asked Yeosang, to make sure I was really okay about telling them something so important and private. I nodded in response.

When all of them were sitting on the couches, I started telling the story.

《My dad likes to spend every night in a different pub, wasting away all of our money in gambling. One day, when I was 11 years old, some people came home looking for him and destroyed our house. That’s when we found out about my dad’s problem. Soon after that my mom asked for a divorce and took me away with her. The fact is, that my mom didn’t bring me with her because she cared about my well being, but because she wanted me to become successful and give her the luxurious life she thinks she deserves》 I said 《Since that day I slept only a couple of hours every night, because I was too focused on studying to do anything else. My mom was always next to me, and she used to slap me every time I got distracted or every time I said I was hungry or tired》

I sighed sadly at the thought.

《A couple years ago she found a new job that payed her a lot more than the previous one and she started going out and have fun almost every night and most of weekends. She likes her life outside so much, that every time she comes back home and sees me, she thinks about the fact that she has to pay for my education and for my food, that she has to bare having me in the same house》 I continued 《I was born because my parents weren’t careful enough. She never wanted to have kids, and she likes to tell me that I’m not wanted every day. She yells at me all the time. She tells me I’m a disappointment, that I do nothing to repay for the things she does for me. She forces me to study and gets angry if I don’t get an A+. Most of the times she doesn’t even want to see me and she forces me to leave the house》

《Do you remember the night before you were accused of breaking the school’s tv?》 I asked Hongjoong, and he nodded 《I was at school because I was looking for a place where I could sleep. That night, in fact, I sleep in the gym》

《That’s what happened yesterday night too》 I said to Seonghwa 《That’s why I was wandering around in the streets, without a jacket nor a phone. She kicked me out like I’m no one》

《She can’t do that》 said Mingi 《You could get hurt》

《Yeah, well, she doesn’t care》 I replied 《Actually, I’m sure she hopes every time that I don’t come back》

《It’s not legal, you should tell someone》 said Wooyoung

《It’s not that simple》

《Is your mom the reason why you avoided us for the past days?》 asked Jongho

《No》 I said 《I was avoiding you because I felt guilty. I feel like I’m just using you to unwind and take a break from my life. I can see that my sadness effects you too, and I don’t want to be a burden to you, or change your mood》

《You’re not a burden》 said Seonghwa 《You know the stories people tell about us, so you must also know that we are never friendly with anybody. If we are spending time with you, it’s because we really want to》

《We enjoy your company》 said Yunho

《You’re actually a really interesting person》 added Mingi 《And you’re also fun to hang out with》

I smiled sadly, and a tear fell down my eye. San got up from his seat and hugged me tight.

《We really care about you》 he said

I hugged him back, sobbing in his shoulder.

《From now on, if something happens you have to tell us》 said Hongjoong 《If you are sad we will cheer you up, if your mom kicks you out we will give you shelter, if you need help studying we can study with you》

《We’re all bad students》 intervened Jongho

《We can still try!》 replied Hongjoong, exasperated because of his younger friend’s remark

《Thank you》 I said, slowly calming down

San hugged me once more then let me go.

《Where are you staying now?》 asked Yeosang

《She’s staying at my house》 replied Seonghwa

《Do you need anything?》 asked Wooyoung 《Food? Clothes? Money?》

《I’ll probably need some clothes, but I’ll try to go back home tomorrow, at least to see if I can take something from my room》 I replied

《In case you won’t be able to, just tell me》 said Wooyoung 《We can always go shopping》

《Thanks, but I don’t think we’ll need to do that》

Wooyoung shrugged. He looked excited about going shopping, it was kinda funny.

《Should we do something now?》 I asked 《You know, have fun》

《How about we just spend the day here?》 asked Yunho

Everyone agreed that it was a good idea, so we prepared for the intense day of fun. Wooyoung had a wii, so we moved the couches and the table away, so that we could play. We also ordered pizza and Chinese food.

We started with playing Mario kart. The boys were really competitive and since Yunho was winning almost every time, I had to meddle various time to save him from his friend’s rage. Then, to calm the nerves, we played just dance. They were really energetic and they were probably used to playing so much, but I wasn’t, so after I while I stopped playing and sat on the couch, to recharge a bit. After a while San sat next to me.

《They don’t want me to play》 he said, pouting

《Why?》

《They say I cheat every time》

《How can you even cheat in Just Dance?》 I asked, amused

《Exactly!》 he said

I chuckled. He was so cute.

《Well sucks for them》 he continued, still pouting 《I get to stay with you, while they don’t》

After he said that he laid on the couch and put his head on my lap. I looked at him, surprised.

《Can you play with my hair?》 he asked

I started playing with his hair and he closed his eyes, enjoying the moment. I kept doing it, watching the other boys, who were still playing. After a while some of them noticed us.

《Ya! San!》 yelled Jongho 《Aren’t you being too bold?》

The other boy opened his eyes and looked at his friend, annoyed.

《You’re only jealous that it’s me and not you》 he replied

Jongho shook his head and went back to the game. But it wasn’t over yet for San. Wooyoung approached him right after he closed his eyes again, and started tickling him. San jumped, and when he noticed it was Wooyoung, he got up from the couch and chased him around the house. I laughed at the scene.

During the night we decided to have a marathon of a series of movies. We played rock paper scissors, so that the winner would choose the films. Wooyoung wanted to see 007’s movies, Jongho wanted to see Fast & Furious, and so on… But in the end Yunho won, and we had to watch all of Harry Potter’s movies that night.

When we finished the last movie, it was almost dawn. We didn’t even saw the end, since all of us fell asleep. When we woke up the next day, it was afternoon.

Seonghwa gave me a ride to my house and from outside I could tell my mom wasn’t home. I quickly went in and put my clothes in a bag and took my phone. Then we went to eat to a fast food with the rest of the boys, and at the end of the night I went home with Seonghwa and slept in my new room.

The next morning I woke up early and Seonghwa’s grandma prepared breakfast for the both of us. Then we got ready and went to school. I had to admit, that staying at Seonghwa’s house wasn’t bad. The place was nice and calm, the bed was comfortable and his grandma was sweet and caring. That place felt more like home than my real house.

When we parked in the school’s parking lot and got off of the car, Yeosang and San were waiting for us.

《Good morning》 I said

《Hello!》 they both said, smiling brightly

The three of them wanted to walk me to class, but first I had to pick something up from my locker, so we all went there.

《Did you have breakfast?》 asked Yeosang

《Yes》 I replied 《Seonghwa’s grandma is making sure that I eat》

《Good》 he replied

San, next to me started talking 《I was thinking that maybe tonight we could-》

He stopped and I looked up at him, just to see him looking at something with an angry expression. I looked in that direction and saw my locker. There were photos on it. There was a photo of me and Seonghwa in front of his house, one of San laying on the couch with his head on my lap, another one of me playing games with them, and one of me laughing with Mingi during yesterday’s dinner. But the photos weren’t much of a problem. The problem was the “KQ Fellaz’ slut” written all over my locker.

《Who was it?》 asked San, furious as hell

No one around us answered

《I asked who was it!!》 he yelled

He was so angry, that it was scary. I wasn’t the only one who thought so, in fact a girl shyly took a step forward.

《It was Minha’s group》 she replied, almost in a whisper

《I’m going to kill them》 he said to himself

《I’m coming with you》 said Yeosang, equally furious

《No guys, don’t-》 I tried to say, but they were already walking away

《You can’t stop them》 said Seonghwa

He was still next to me, and looked calm. But just because he was able to control himself it didn’t mean he wasn’t angry as well. Just by looking at his eyes I could tell he didn’t like this either.

《Let’s go somewhere quiet》 he said, noticing that everyone was looking at us

Everyone around us was whispering to each other, glaring at us. He grabbed my hand and guided me to the rooftop. On the rooftop there were old desks and chairs piled on one another. Seonghwa took two chairs and we sat down.

《Are they going to find them?》 I asked

《Definitely》

《What are they going to do when they find them?》

He looked at me with that look that said “do you really want to know?”. I didn’t ask twice. I wasn’t really ready to know the answer.

《How did they even took those photos?》 I asked 《There were even photos of us in Wooyoung’s house》

《They probably followed you around》 he replied

《That’s sick. Why would they do that?》

《I don’t know》 he said 《But we’re not gonna let them do this to you again. They shouldn’t even dare to pick on you》

What he said made me feel safe, but at the same time it scared me. What were they willing to do, to protect me?

We stayed there in silence for a while. After some time he spoke.

《Do you want to go back to class?》 he asked, knowing how much I care about school

《No》 I replied

Then Seonghwa got a text.

《It looks like they found them》 he said 《The boys are gathering at Wooyoung’s house》

He got up and I got up with him.

《I’m coming with you》

I followed him out of the school and we got in his car. In a couple of minutes we arrived at Wooyoung’s house and entered the place. Mingi, Yeosang, Yunho and Wooyoung were already there.

《What happened?》 I asked, anxious

《We don’t know yet》 replied Wooyoung 《We split in two groups hoping to find them faster. We know Hongjoong and the others found him, but we don’t know what happened》

Right after he said that, the door opened and Hongjoong, San and Jongho entered the room. Their faces and hands were full of bruises. My heart was beating so fast that I thought it was going to explode.

I walked to them and tried to get closer to Hongjoong to look at his bruises, but he stepped back. I stopped, confused.

《Why are you here?》 he asked, harshly

《I wanted to know if you were alright》

《We’re fine, don’t worry》 he said, trying to walk past me

I grabbed his arm and made him stop.

《No, you’re not fine》 I said, then I turned to Wooyoung 《Do you have a first aid kit?》

《Yes, just give me a second》 he replied, leaving the room

《Sit down, all of you》 I told the three boys

《I said we’re fine》 repeated Hongjoong

《And I said to seat the hell down!》 I snapped, angry

They looked at each other, surprised, and sat down on the couch without saying anything. Wooyoung came back with the first aid kit and gave it to me, and I started treating their bruises.

《Why did you do this?》 I asked

《They dared to call you slut》 said Jongho 《Those fuckers asked for it》

《I don’t care what they call me》 I said 《I don’t care about anything but you guys》

《Still》 said San 《They should know that you’re off limits》

《They just needed a little reminder》 added Hongjoong

《Please, don’t do this again》 I begged 《I don’t like seeing you hurt》

《We can’t promise that》 said Mingi

I turned around and looked at him. He looked apologetic.

《I know it’s not fair of us to ask you to be okay with this, but if it happens again we will doit again, and you can’t do anything to stop us》 said Yunho 《It’s how things work》

I sighed and kept treating the bruises. When I finished I put everything back into the first aid kid and threw away the rest. Then I went back to the living room and sat on the couch, next to Hongjoong. He looked at me. It seemed like he was almost scared to talk to me.

《Are you okay?》 he asked, softly

《I don’t know》 I replied 《I seriously don’t know what to do with you guys, and it makes me feel so useless》

《You’re not thinking about leaving us, right?》 asked San, getting defensive 《I mean, you already knew we were like this. You can’t change your mind now》

《I don’t want to leave you》 I reassured him 《It’s just that it hurts to see you like this》

San looked a bit relieved, but he still wasn’t completely calm.

《I really care about you》 I said 《You’re the family I never had》

Hongjoong put his arm around my shoulder and put me closer to him. I smiled sadly at him.

《Let’s stay together for a while, okay?》 he said 《Let’s just get distracted. This was too much for just one morning》

We all tried to do other things, to get what happened out of ours mind, but I just really couldn’t forget about it. No matter what I did, I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that they were willing to get in trouble and hurt themselves because of me. Is this what I really want? Maybe I’m really not good for them.


	9. NINE

The next day we went to school together and all 8 of them walked me to class. They didn’t want to leave me, but they were relieved that at least one of them was going to be with mefor the whole day. Hongjoong and I sat next to each other in our usual spot, and I noticed everyone was looking at us. I felt their eyes on us, but every time I looked up they looked away, almost scared. I guess people found out about what the boys did yesterday.

Even the teachers looked at Hongjoong in a weird way. They weren’t disapproving looks, more a bit surprised and afraid maybe.

《Why does everyone look scared of you?》 I asked, when the lessons was getting boring

《I guess I look scary, especially when I’m with the boys》 he replied, shrugging

《Well yeah, that might be the reason why the students are afraid of you》 I said 《But the teachers seem afraid as well, and I’m pretty sure they don’t care about the way you guys look. There must be another reason》

《You said you hear the stories about us》 he replied

《I did》

《Then why don’t you know the reason about me being scary?》 He asked, confused

《Maybe Minha left out some stories》

He sighed.

《I was a boxer》 he said

I looked at him, saying with my eyes “tell me more”. He was hesitant at first, but then gave in.

《The owner of the boxing club I went to held illegal fights, and since I was his best boxer he made me participate a lot in his business》 he said 《The police found out about him last year and they arrested him. They were going to arrest me too, but in the end they let me go. Anyway the next day everyone at school knew about it》

He looked me in the eyes and tried to understand what I was thinking. He looked a bit anxious.

《I’m glad you got out of it》 I replied

He wasn’t satisfied with my answer, but he didn’t insist. The fact was that I didn’t know what to say, or even think. I shouldn’t have been surprised, since I already knew the things they used to do, and that those things weren’t exactly good or legal, but finding out about this, kind of took me by surprise. I didn’t like the idea that they all got themselves in trouble so much. It’s wasn’t exactly because I cared about the law, more because I was worried about them, about their future and about what could happen to them if they kept this up.

For the rest of the morning we didn’t talk much, but I could feel he was still tense. I didn’t know if what I was thinking was right or not, but I had the impression he was scared I would be afraid too, knowing about that story. And the fact that I didn’t really reply to what he said might have worried him. And the fact that he was worrying about my opinion, made me worry about him. But still, I wasn’t able to say anything to him. I felt bad.

Lunch was kinda quiet too. The boys tried to joke a bit with each other but we all felt that the mood was down. The fact that everyone was looking and whispering about us didn’t help either. I felt uncomfortable.

After lunch, when Hongjoong and I were going back to class, we bumped into the boys of Minha’s group. Well, we didn’t exactly bumped into them. They were waiting for us. Their faces were all swollen and full of bruises. The bruises on Hongjoong, San and Jongho’s faces were nothing, compared to theirs.

《What do you want?》 said Hongjoong, taking a step forward so that he was standing between me and them.

《We just want to talk to her》 one boy said

《We want to apologize》 another one said

《Then do it》 replied Hongjoong

The boys looked at each others, then at Hongjoong.

《We would like to talk to her alone》

《No way》 replied Hongjoong

《It’s okay》 I told him

He looked at me, worried. He didn’t think it was a good idea, but I wasn’t scared of the boys, and I was pretty sure they weren’t going to do anything to me. They looked like they learned the lesson.

《Are you sure?》 he asked me

I nodded and asked him to wait for me in class. He reluctantly walked away and I turned to look at the three boys in front of me.

《We’re really sorry about what we did to you》 one of them said 《We shouldn’t have made fun of you or called you names》

《Where’s Minha?》 I asked them

To be honest I didn’t care about their apology, since I didn’t even know them. The only apology I wanted was from Minha. She didn’t only own me an apology but also an explanation. She suddenly disappeared from my life and started doing these cruel things to me. She never even told me why she hated KQ Fellaz so much.

《She dropped out of school》

《What?》

《We don’t know the details. We found out through the principal》

Great. That meant I was never going to see her or talk to her again.

《Why did you do the things you did?》 I asked

《Minah asked us to do them, and since we didn’t like KQ Fellaz either, we agreed to her plan》

《Why does Minah hate them?》

《Last year she had a fling with Seonghwa, but right after that, he started ignoring her and when she tried to talk to him, the whole group started being rude to her. After a while she stopped nagging them, but I think that seeing you, the new one in the school, getting along with them so well made her anger come back》

It sounded so silly, but at the same time it made sense. I knew well enough that even something so small could made you do crazy things.

《Thanks for your apology》 I said 《I don’t want to be rude, but I really hope we don’t see each other again》

《We understand》 they replied

They bowed and went away. When I entered the class, Hongjoong basically jumped on his chair.

《What did they say?》 he asked 《Did they do something to you?》

《They just apologized》 I said

《Really? They didn’t say or do anything else?》

《Nothing else》 I replied

He nodded to himself and calmed down. I sat down next to him.

《About what you told me before…》 I said 《I just want you to know that whatever you and the guys did, it won’t change my mind about you. I care about you regardless of what you did》

He finally smiled and relaxed.

《Since you didn’t comment I thought you were thinking our friendship over》

《I’m sorry I made you worry》

《You don’t need to apologize》 he replied 《I would have understood if you decided to end things with us》

《I’m not gonna leave you》 I reassured him

I liked that smile on his face. It made me feel like I got a weight off my chest.

For the rest of the lessons, we kind of teased and played with each other. We were in a playful mood and tried to take advantage of it. We didn’t know when that moment would pass and we didn’t want to waste the happy times.

I told the guys that I was going to go back home that day, hoping my mom was in a better mood. Since I was a guest at Seonghwa’s house, he wanted to be the one who gave me a ride home, so when the lessons ended Hongjoong walked me to the parking lot. There we found Seonghwa already waiting for me. I waved Hongjoong goodbye and got in the car with Seonghwa.

《How was your day?》 he asked

《It ended better than it started》 I replied

I kept thinking about what the boys told me just a couple hours earlier, and I was too curious to not ask.

《I found out you had a relationship with Minha》 I said

《It wasn’t a relationship》 he replied 《She kept giving me gifts and chocolate, and asking me to go out with her, but I always rejected her because I didn’t want to be in a relationship. Then one day at a party she came to me and asked to sleep with me. I told her that if she really wanted me to, I would have done it, but nothing more. I told her that it was going to be a one night stand and that the next day we would be stranger again》

《She agreed?》 I asked

《She agreed in the blink of an eye, without even thinking about it》 he said 《However, the next day she started saying around that we were a couple and that we were in love. Of course I was annoyed at her and tried to talk to her, but we just argued. She said she felt offended by me, that I humiliated her》

《What did you do about it?》

《I told everyone that we weren’t a couple, and of course people believed me instead of her》 he said 《Then I just ignored her. I mean, we had no reason to talk to each other anymore. She gave up after a while anyway》

《Her friends said that she started doing these things because she was jealous of me for getting along with you guys》 I said

《That’s probably true. She did look like the crazy type》

The car stopped and I looked at the door of my house.

《Do you want me to come with you?》 he asked

《No it’s okay》

《I’m still going to wait here for a while, in case you have to leave again》

《Thanks》 I said, getting off

I walked to the door and right before I could touch it, someone opened it. My mom was looking at me, furious. As if that sight wasn’t already causing me anxiety, my dad suddenly showed up next to her. I took a step back. I hadn’t seen him in years. I didn’t even know if my mom was still talking to him.

《What’s going on?》 I asked

《We should be asking you that question》 my mom said

《I don’t know what you are talking about》 I replied

I heard the noise of a car’s door closing and a couple seconds later Seonghwa was right behind me.

《Well, we found out that you spend your time with a gang》 my dad said 《That’s why you started causing so much trouble, isn’t it? You stopped focusing on studying and started slacking around》

《You’re so ungrateful》 my mom said 《Are you trying to rebel against me? Is this why you are whoring around with a group of thugs?》

She threw something at me and when I looked at the ground, I noticed it was the same photos that were on my locker. I guess Minha also had the time to send them to my house before disappearing.

《She isn’t whoring around》 said Seonghwa, stepping in 《And we are not thugs》

The last one was kind of a lie, but that wasn’t the right time to correct him.

《Your daughter is a nice person and we all care about her》 he said 《This is not the way you should treat her and you definitely shouldn’t offend her like that. She doesn’t deserve this disrespect》

《You have no right to talk back to us》 my dad growled 《You have nothing to do with this family, nor with my daughter》

《If you don’t go away now, we’ll call the police》 my mom said

《Call them》 he challenged her 《So I can finally tell someone how you treat your daughter. I’m pretty sure that kicking her out of her own house is illegal》

If looks could kill, I don’t know who would had died faster, my mom or Seonghwa. The glares they were giving to each other were scary.

My dad stepped in the argument to talk to me

《If you don’t stop meeting them we will take measures》 he said

《I won’t stop being friends with them because you tell me to》 I told him

I never had a real friend, and now that I finally found people who actually cared about me, I wasn’t going to throw it all away because my parents disapproved. It was about time I started speaking my mind.

《We’re still your parents, you have to do what we say》 my mom said

《No I don’t》 I replied

《You need a house. You need food. You need money》 she said 《You need us》

《She doesn’t》 replied Seonghwa 《We have all she needs and we don’t mind helping her》

《I’m not going back home》 I told them 《If you’re really going to force me to end it with them, then this is the last time you see me》

My mom and dad kept yelling at me, saying I would regret it. I ignored them, and went away with Seonghwa.

《I guess we are officially roommates now》 he said, once we were again in his car

《I’m sorry you had to see that》 I replied, ashamed

《Don’t worry》 he replied, giving me a reassuring smile

We texted the boys that I was going to stay at Seonghwa’s for while. We went to his house and instead of going out again to be with the boys, I spent the rest of the day with him. We watched movies on the couch and chatted with his grandma. It felt so domestic that I almost started crying a couple of times. Seonghwa often asked me if I wanted to talk about it, or just cry it out, but I said no every time. I should have vented, but I preferred holding it in. When I went to sleep I cried a bit in silence, but I tried to hold back as much as I could. The next morning Seonghwa noticed my eyes were a bit red but he didn’t say anything. He prepared breakfast for the both of us and then we went to school.

When we arrived the boys were already there. They greeted us, and San came to me and put his arm around my shoulders.

《How are you?》 he asked me, while we were walking to class

《I’m fine》 I said

《Don’t lie》 he replied 《It’s okay to not be fine》

《I don’t want to talk about it》 I said and he nodded

He wasn’t going to push me to say things I didn’t want to say. When we were about to enter the building, a couple of police agents blocked us.

《Are you KQ Fellaz?》 they asked

The boys looked confused, but Hongjoong replied to them 《Yes, we are》

《You all have to come with us to the police station》 one of the agents said

《What?》 asked Mingi 《Why?》

《You’ve been accused of assault》 the agent said 《It would be nice if you decided to come with us without resisting》

The boys were really confused, and taken back. They hadn’t done anything wrong or illegal in a long time, so they couldn’t understand what was going on. They didn’t want to cause a scene so they followed the police officers.

《Where do you think you are going?》 an officer said to me

《I’m going with them》 I said

《You can’t》 he replied 《You’ll have to come to the station by yourself》

They came with a couple of cars to be able to bring them all to the station, but of course I couldn’t go with them. They got in the cars and left. I stood there for a minute, then ran to the street and tried to call a taxi. It took me a while to stop one, but when I finally managed I told the driver to get to the station as far as he could. When we arrived I payed him and ran into the building. The boys were sitting in a line and they all had angry expressions. Then, I looked in front of them and gasped. Sitting in front of them there were my mom and my dad, and my dad had a swollen face and bruises all over his body.

《What is going on?》 I asked

Before the officer could ask me who I was, my mother told him I was their daughter.

《These boys are accused of assaulting your father》 said the officer

《It can’t be true》 I whispered to myself

For a moment I was afraid they might have done it, but when I looked at the boys I could tell from the look in their eyes that they were innocents.

The police took my father’s statement right in front of me. He said that after I went away with Seonghwa the night before, all 8 of them came back and beat up my father. When the officer asked him why they didn’t call the police the night before, neither my dad nor my mom could answer, but unfortunately the officer didn’t care about the logic. After that, he asked the boys to say their side of the story and of course they said that the didn’t do it. The problem was that it wasn’t the first time they were called to the police station. They were known for not being good boys, so they didn’t believe them. I tried to defend them, but no one even listened to me. As if it wasn’t enough, my dad agreed to take legal action against them.

《I’ll have to keep you here in the station until things are settled》 the officer said to the boys

He forced them to get up and pushed them into a cell.

《They didn’t do it》 I kept saying

《Then how do you explain your father’s injuries?》 asked the officer

《I have no idea, but it wasn’t them》

It didn’t matter how many times I said it, no one believed me. After they’ve taken them away, my parents grabbed me and forced me to go with them.

《Why are you doing this?》 I asked them while we were in the car

《We told you we wouldn’t let those thugs ruin your future》 my mom replied

《What the hell?》 I yelled 《You sued them! You accused them of assault!》

《They did assault your father》 she replied, smirking

《No they didn’t》

《Yeah well the police doesn’t need to know》 she replied chuckling

《You’re disgusting》 I hissed

The smile on my mom’s faces disappeared and she turned around to look at me.

《There’s only one way you can help them》 she said 《If you swear you will break every contact with them and focus only on school again, we will take everything back》

I knew she meant it. I already knew she was crazy enough to do something like this, but I was hoping she wouldn’t have done it. Now, if I really wanted to help the boys, I only had one choice. A choice that I didn’t like and that would make me the most miserable person in this world. But I didn’t have another choice, so I agreed.


	10. TEN

My parents had brought me home and checked on me for a while. Then, after I finally gave in to their blackmail, they went back to the police station to take back the accusations. I knew that they really did it, because the boys texted me that they were out of there. They texted me to ask if I was okay and if they needed to help me escape from my house, but I never replied to their texts. I felt bad, but I didn’t have a choice.

The next day, I went to school by foot. I noticed the boys waiting at the entrance, so I walked to the back and entered from the service door. I walked to class and sat in my seat.

Avoiding them was going to be really hard. Firstly, because I didn’t really want to do it. Secondly, because I knew they wouldn’t let me do it. I was most worried about how I would avoid Hongjoong, since we were also in the same class.The leader entered the class and sat next to me.

《Are you okay?》 he asked, worried about me

I just looked at the teacher, without replying.

《Did something happen with your parents?》 he asked 《You know you can tell us. We can help you》

My heart ached hearing those words.

《I don’t need your help》 I replied, as harshly as I could.

Then I took my backpack, got up and sat in another seat, a couple of rows behind him. He looked at me, confused. I tried to avoid eye contact, because I knew that if I looked him in the eyes I would break down. He kept looking at me trying to figure out what was going on, but at least he didn’t change his seat as well. He tried to text me during the lesson but I blocked his number. Every time I got a notification from one of the boys I was one step closer to crying my eyes out.

When the lunch break’s bell rang, I literally ran out before he could even get up from his chair. I went to the canteen and bought a sandwich. Some of the boys were already sitting at their table and they were looking at me from afar, waiting for me to go sit with them. But of course, I couldn’t do that. I bumped into Yunho while I was exiting the canteen. He grabbed my arm to stop me.

《Aren’t you having lunch with us?》 he asked, but seeing I looked in a hurry he asked 《Where are you going?》

《Away from you》 I replied, taking my arm out of his grip and walking away

I could feel his stare on my back. I couldn’t hold it back anymore and ran to the bathroom to cry. I felt like shit for treating them like that. I knew that I was going to hurt them and I really didn’t want to do it, but it was the only thing I could do.

I stayed in the bathroom for the whole break. When it was about to be over I washed my face and looked at myself in the mirror. How was I going to go back to class when it was clear that I cried? Hongjoong would surely notice.

I took a deep breath and went back to class. Luckily I was the first one to enter, so I went to my seat in the back and tried to look down as much as I could, so that when he entered the class he wouldn’t notice my eyes. The students started to come back into class and the teacher arrived too, but Hongjoong didn’t. I was relieved. At least I could breathe for a couple of hours and really focus on school. The second half of the day went, indeed, pretty fast. When the last bell rang I calmly started putting away my things. That was my mistake. I thought that since Hongjoong wasn’t in class, I could stop running. What I didn’t think about, was them ambushing me in the class, right after everyone went away. One second I was the only one in class, the second after I was surrounded by 8 boys. I wasn’t ready for that.

《Why are you avoiding us?》 asked Yunho

《Did something happen with your parents?》 asked Yeosang 《If you need help you just have to tell us》

《We’d do anything for you》 said San

There was only one way I could get out of that situation, and it was going to be painful, for both the boys and me.

《Nothing happened》 I replied, shrugging

《Then why are you avoiding us?》 asked Hongjoong

《Because I don’t want to spend my time with you》 I said, half smiling. My tone was so annoying that I even disgusted myself.

《What do you mean?》 asked Seonghwa

《I mean, that I don’t want to hang out with you anymore》

They looked confused and shocked.

《Why?》 said San

His voice was almost a whisper. It hurt to see him like that.

《Why would I even be friends with you?》 I said 《You guys are freaking thugs. You even beat my father up》

《We didn’t do it, and you know it》 said Jongho

《Do I?》 I asked 《It’s not like you aren’t violent and rude on a daily basis》

《Why are you acting like this?》 asked Seonghwa 《This is not you》

《You don’t know me》 I replied 《You only know what I wanted you to see about me》

《We do know you》 said Yunho 《And we know you wouldn’t act like this unless you were forced to》

《Will you leave me in peace?!》 I yelled, annoyed 《I said I don’t what to have anything to do with you anymore!》

They looked at me like I slapped them. They didn’t know what to do or say.

《I’m going now》 I said, taking my backpack 《Don’t talk to me ever again》

Said that, I left the room. Tears started streaming down my face while I was walking home, but I had to calm myself down before going back in my house. Since my dad’s duty was over here, he went back to his reckless life. That meant I was alone again with my mom.

As soon as I stepped into the house she came to me.

《You didn’t meet those boys, did you?》 she asked

《They wanted to talk to me, but I told them I don’t want to see them anymore. I think they got it》 I replied, annoyed 《Are you happy now?》

She scoffed.

《I see you still haven’t understood that I’m doing it for your sake》 she said 《Those boys were only going to ruin your future, and you know it》

I didn’t reply and just went in my room. For the first hour she kept and eye on me while I was doing my homework, then she had to leave for work.

Once she went away, I took out my journal. It may sound childish but it was the only one I could talk to. I used to vent there. I didn’t write a lot actually, most of the pages were filled with drawings. There were a couple of things that I wrote though, but only about the things that bothered me the most. That night I wrote again in that journal for the first time in so long. Meeting the boys had helped me a lot, but now that I couldn’t be with them anymore, my only source of venting was that little book.

That night I went to sleep hugging my journal. I guess I was hoping to feel some kind of relief, but the only thing I could feel was guilt.

For the following two weeks, I lived as an outcast. In class I decided to stay in that seat in the last row, far from everyone. I ate alone in class or spend the break crying in the bathroom. I went to school depressed and after school I went straight home, feeling even more depressed. The boys did as I asked. They stayed away from me and never tried to talk to me again. I did catch them glancing at me a couple of times, but I guess that was the least they could do. At school I didn’t talk to anyone. It was like I had suddenly became mute. If one of my classmates asked me something I would ignore them or answer without words. Even the teacher, after a couple of tries, stopped asking questions because I never replied to them. Even at home, I almost didn’t speak. Of course everyday my mom asked me if I talked to the boys or not, but after that I stopped talking again and just went to study. That was all I did. I went to school, then at home to study, then again at school, and then again at home to study.

I was back to my routine before I met the boys, the only difference was that I was more lonely and sad than before.

That day I woke up late and prepared in a hurry. I didn’t have breakfast, took my bicycle and speeded to arrive at school in time. My backpack was right in front of me in the basket of the bicycle, but I didn’t notice that I didn’t close it well. When I arrived at school I ran to class. While I was running in the corridor I accidentally bumped into someone.

《Sorry》 I said, and then looked at who it was. I panicked for a second.

Mingi just looked at me, without saying anything. I shook my head and started running to class again.

The problem was, that because of me bumping into Mingi, something fell from my backpack. Mingi saw a small book on the floor and imagined that it belonged to me, since it wasn’t there before I arrived. At first he looked at it, then he decided to open it, just to see what it was.

《The boys need to see this》 he said to himself.

He closed the journal and went to the back of the school, were they had already agreed to meet, since they all wanted to skip the first period.

《What took you so long?》 asked Seonghwa

《I ran into Y/N》 Mingi replied

The rest of the boys looked at each others, then at Mingi, confused.

《Something fell from her bag》 he added 《I think you should see this》

Mingi handed the journal to Hongjoong and he opened it.

The first pages were full of drawings. There was a drawing of Hongjoong sleeping in class, with his head on the desk. One of Yeosang sitting on a chair, with his feet on the teacher’s desk. One of Yunho eating. One of a frowning Jongho trying to study. One of Mingi on his motorcycle. One of Wooyoung standing next to his car. One of the place where we went bowling. One of San smiling, with his dimple showing. One of Hongjoong handing me a cup of tea. One of Seonghwa looking at his phone, sitting in the kitchen of his home. One of San with his eyes closed and his head on my lap. They were drawn so well that they looked like photos. And it was clear, by the way I had drawn them, that I cared about them. It was like the drawing were screaming “love”.

After the pages with the drawing, there were a couple of pages that were written. The guys started reading them:

“My parents are unbelievable. My dad asked a friend of his to beat up his ass and then tried to frame my friends.

I was so scared when I saw them going away with the police. At first I was confused and worried, but then when I found out that they were there because of my parents, I really felt guilty. Their life was going to get ruined because my parents are too stupid to realize that they are actually good people. My parents were really going to ruin the lives of 8 boys and their families, because they were selfish.

And of course getting them arrested wasn’t the whole plan. They were going to take back whatever lie they had said to the police, with the only condition that I stopped seeing them. That must have been the most difficult decision of my life. But of course, if a life has to get ruined because of my parents, it is only fair if that life is mine. They don’t deserve it. They deserve to live their lives and have a bright future. They can’t have it if I keep being friends with them.

I’m not that important anyway. After some time they are going to forget about me and they will go on with their lives. That’s how it should be.”

Then, they read the next page.

“Today was the first day I was supposed to avoid them. I wanted to just slowly disappear and let them forget about me, but they didn’t let me. I was so scared about talking to them because I didn’t know what to do or say to be able to end things with them without causing problems. I almost cried when I rejected Hongjoong and that was only the beginning. I was harsh with Yunho too, during lunch. Just ignoring them like that hurt so much.

Then they showed up in class, when there was no one else there. They took me by surprise. I didn’t know what was going to happened or what I was supposed to say. I didn’t want to hurt anyone but at the same time I wanted to end it quickly.

They were sweet like always. The were worried about me. They asked me if my parents had done or said something to me. I really wanted to cry it out with them and let them comfort me, but I couldn’t. I made a deal with my parents and breaking it meant that I would get them in trouble. I couldn’t do that.

The only way I could end things with them, was by saying hurtful things. I said so many hurtful words that I didn’t mean. I regret them all. I saw the hurt in their eyes, and I knew it was my fault. I hated myself so much. I hope they can forgive me. I know I’m hurting them, but it is only to save them from the mess that my life is. I’m really sorry. I hope they know, deep inside, that I didn’t mean it”

《She did it for us》 whispered Wooyoung, finally understanding what was going on

《We have to do something》 said San 《I don’t know about you, but I’m not letting her harm herself like that》

《We can’t just go to her and talk about this》 said Seonghwa 《Somehow her parents always seem to find out about what happens to her. If they find out we talked with her we won’t be the only one who will be in trouble. There will be consequences for her too》

《Then what do we do?》 asked Jongho 《We can’t let her do this on her own》

《I might have an idea》 said Hongjoong

While they proceeded with the plan, I was in class. And I was panicking.

When I entered the class, since I was late, I just took my notebook out and started taking notes. Half way through the lesson my pen stopped working so I looked in my bag to see if I had another one. That’s when I noticed that my journal wasn’t there. I took everything out of my bag and checked again. I already knew it wasn’t there but I was trying to deny it. I was sure I took it home with me the day before, so that meant that it had to be in my bag. Did I leave it home? That was impossible. I knew that I didn’t even write or draw in it yesterday, because I was too busy to do it.

What if it fell from my bag? My eyes widened in fear. If someone found it, that meant it was the end for me. Everyone in the school was going to find out what happened and both the boys and I would be in the spotlight.

I wanted to go out of the classroom to look for my journal, hoping to find it on the floor or between the grass in the schoolyard, but I couldn’t leave the class in that moment. I had to wait for the lesson to end.

I anxiously stared at the clock, hoping the time would pass quicker if I put pressure on it. When the bell rang I ran out of the class. I ran around the corridors, looking at every corner and under every locker. Then I ran to the school yard and walked the same path that I had walked an hour before. There was no sign of my journal.

What if I left it in my locker yesterday and I didn’t remember about it? I thought. At that point I was trying to make up excuses just to not think about the fact and my diary could be in someone else’s hands. I ran to my locker and opened it. There it was, right on top of the pile of books. I released a deep breath and tried to calm down my heart. I took the journal to put it in my bag, but once I had it in my hands I saw that there was something inside it. I opened it and notice it was a leaf, used as a bookmark. Once I took the leaf away, I saw it.

There were new drawings in my journal. There were drawing of me, and of me and the boys. Some of them were realistic, other were cartoons. Every drawing had the sign of who had drawn it at the end of the page. There were two drawing made by every boy of KQ Fellaz. There was even a comic with 8 characters screaming “we love you”. I laughed sadly at how cute it was.

Then I turned the last page and saw what was written there “We will always be there for you. You just have to tell us what to do”

I didn’t even notice I was crying until I started sobbing loudly. I put my hand on my mouth, to try and stop myself from making noises, but I couldn’t hold it in. They really cared about me, even after everything I did.

I didn’t know about it, but in the corner of the corridor there were San, Wooyoung and Yeosang watching me from afar. They smiled sadly.

《At least she knows now》 Yeosang said

And then they left, trying to forget the sound of my cries.


	11. ELEVEN

Two days later, my mom started acting like she used to. I went home after school and for the first time in weeks, she wasn’t there waiting for me. I could finally breathe, I thought. Since I couldn’t do anything else, I went to my room and started studying. My mom wasn’t home yet once it was dinner time, so I ordered take out and kept studying.

I was highlighting a page of my history book, when, at 11 pm, the front door finally opened. I got up and saw my mom getting in the house. As soon as she saw me, her eyes became dark.

《What the hell are you doing here?》 she hissed at me

I could smell the alcohol from the door of my room.

《I’m studying》 I replied

《I don’t want you here》 she said 《Get the fuck out》

《I’m not going anywhere》 I said, firmly

She walked to me and strongly grabbed my arm. I tried to get away from her grip but she still managed to drag me to the door.

《You can’t do this-》 I tried to protest, but she cut me off with a slap on my cheek

I was too shocked to realized that she pushed me out of the house and locked the door right in my face. My shaking hand went to touch my cheek. My mom always abused me emotionally, but until that day she had never hit me.

I tried to get back to my senses and looked around. I was alone in the dark and without a place to go, again. I started walking around, randomly, just to clear my head, and without even noticing I arrived in front of Seonghwa’s house. When I saw where I was, I was surprised. Even though I wanted to ask him for help, I knew it wasn’t fair, especially after what I did to them. I turned around to walk away, but I found Seonghwa’s grandma in front of me.

《Oh, Y/N》 she said 《Did you come to see Seonghwa?》

《No, I was just passing by》

《Well, since you are here why don’t you come inside for a while?》

Seonghwa never told his grandma the reason why I stayed at his place, but she knew that my situation was complicated and she could feel that in that moment, I was in the same dark place as the last time.

《I don’t want to disturb》 I tried to say 《I’ll come back another time》

《Don’t be silly, come on》 she said

She gently guided me to the door and let me in the house.

《Was the store open?》 a familiar voice asked

Seonghwa came in the room, expecting to see his grandma, but as soon as his eyes landed on me, he froze.

《I found Y/N wandering in front of the house so I brought her in》 his grandma said, leaving the room

《Hi》 I said, shyly

He smiled.

《Did you mother kick you out again?》 he asked, softly

《No, I was just walking around and happened to walk in front of your house》 I said, slightly panicking 《Actually, I should probably go》

I tired to turn around but he grabber my arm.

《You don’t have to tell me what happened》 he said 《But you can stay here as long as you want. I promise I won’t talk to you if you don’t want me to, but I prefer to have you here than know you are alone in the streets》

I looked away, ashamed.

《I shouldn’t be here》 I said 《It’s not fair》

《Don’t be so hard on yourself》 he said 《Just stay here for one night. Only one》

I sighed and nodded. Last time I stayed over I left some of my clothes, so when I went back to the guest’s room I just had to open the wardrobe to find my things.Just when I finished changing, I heard a knock on the door. I opened it and let Seonghwa in.

《I made you some tea》 he said, putting the mug on the nightstand

《Thanks》

He looked at me, hesitant.

《Can we talk?》 he asked

I nodded and we both sat on the bed.

《How is it going with your parents?》

《My dad disappeared again the day after you were arrested and my mom… well, she’s been breathing down my neck for weeks, but then tonight she came home drunk, and she kicked me out again》 I said 《I was hoping things would change, but I guess that’s impossible》

《You know, if you just told us what was going on and asked to keep our distance form you, we would have understood》 he said

《I know you would》 I replied 《But if I did that, we would have both found a way to keep seeing each other despite what my parents said, and I really needed to stay away from you. I should still stay away from you actually》

《Things are not the same without you》 he confessed 《The boys are sad all the time and every time one of them says your name the others just look so lost and confused》

I felt guilty and miserable. Whatever I do, I always hurt them.

《We can’t keep going on like this》 he said

《What do we do?》 I asked 《You know we can’t go back to how we were》

《We’ll think about something, okay?》 he replied 《But I think you should talk to the others as well. They really miss you》

《I don’t know if it’s a good idea》

《Think about it》 he said 《You can tell me tomorrow if you want to or not》

He hugged me and I hugged him back.

《Good night》 he said, and he left the room.

I didn’t sleep much that night. I kept thinking about the options I had, and what I could do to fix things, but nothing I thought about felt right. But one thing was sure: I missed the boys too and I really needed to see them at least once.

The next morning I woke up earlier than Seonghwa and prepared breakfast with his grandma. When he entered the room and saw us working together he smiled.

《Good morning》 he said, sitting at the table

《Good morning》 I replied, putting the food in front of him 《Enjoy》

《Thank you》 he said

《Your friend here is really good at cooking》 his grandma said, and I smiled at the compliment

We had breakfast all together and talked about random things. I was grateful to his grandma, because I could see she was curious, but she never actually asked what happened during the last weeks.

《I will meet the boys》 I told Seonghwa, once we finished eating

《Are you sure?》 he asked, just to make sure

《Yes》

So we got changed, and Seonghwa texted the boys to meet in the their spot at the back of the school. Seonghwa technically gave me a ride to school, but I had to get off in another street and walk for the last few kilometers. Of course Seonghwa arrived before me. He parked the car and went to the meeting point.

《Hey》 said Hongjoong 《Why did you ask to meet? It sounded urgent》

《I brought someone》 he said

I arrived just right after he said that sentence, and everyone looked at me, surprised.

《Hi》 I said

In a second San got up and ran to me, hugging me tight. I chuckled and hugged him back.

《I missed you》 he whispered

《I missed you too》 I replied, patting his back

He reluctantly let me go and stepped back.

《Anyone else needs a hug?》 I said, opening my arms

To everyone’s surprise, Jongho stepped forward and took me in his arms.

《Don’t you dare do something like that ever again》 he said, hugging me tighter

I blinked a few times, to hold back the tears. When he broke the hug he looked at me, and smiled softly.

《I don’t want to sound rude, but what happened?》 asked Hongjoong 《Why did you come back?》

《I met Seonghwa yesterday》 I said 《And he asked me to meet you》

《So, you’re not exactly here to stay, are you?》 asked Yeosang

《I don’t know》 I replied 《I really just needed to see you. I didn’t exactly think this through》

《How can you go back to ignoring us?》 asked Yunho, in disbelief

《I don’t want to》 I said 《I don’t want to stay away from you any longer》

《Then don’t do it》 said Wooyoung

《What if my parents find out?》

《We don’t care about the consequences》 he replied 《We always found a way to get out of trouble and we can do it again》

《We can try to meet in secret》 said Seonghwa 《We’ll act distant when other people are around, and meet secretly. Maybe we won’t be able to meet often, but at least we won’t suffer from it》

《You really think that would work?》 I asked

《If we do it properly, yes》

《Please》 said Mingi 《Let’s try》

San, who was next to him, nodded furiously. I chuckled at their reaction.

《Okay》 I said 《Let’s give it a try and hope for the best》

They all looked momentarily happy. San ran to me and hugged me again.

《Let her live》 said an annoyed Wooyoung, trying to get him off me

《It’s okay》 I told him

I knew San was really touchy and he often used skinship to express how he felt. I was comfortable with him, so it wasn’t a problem.

《I think I need to go to class now, though》 I said 《It will look suspicious if we all skip the same lessons》

《We’ll text each other to decide on how and when to meet》 said Hongjoong

《Okay》 I said

I had to let San go and waved them goodbye. While walking to class I felt like I had taken away the weight I felt on my chest. Maybe we could do this.

For the next few days we managed to make it work. Once in a while I skipped a lesson and met with one or two of them. Unfortunately we couldn’t meet all together, especially at school, because it would have looked suspicious. After school we met for a short time in different locations, usually a bit hidden. Then of course I had to go back home and study and try to act normal with my mom. She didn’t seem to suspect anything, probably because she was too focused on her own things to mind me. She was also drunk half of the time, so it was easier to deceive her.

It was Saturday afternoon and my mom was out having fun, and was supposed to come home on Monday (if she felt like it), so I was free to do whatever I wanted.

“We’ll be waiting for you at the park” said the message from Seonghwa

I washed and got changed, then took my phone and went out. I put my earphones on and took the bus. I looked outside of the window and smiled. It was a nice sunny day, and I was going to meet with my favorite people. Suddenly life didn’t seem so cruel.

That bus didn’t arrive right in front of the park, so I had to get off and walk to get there. The boys were waiting for me at the entrance, but I didn’t see them. I was still a bit far from them.

《Look, Y/N’s there!》 said Mingi, pointing at me

Everyone turned around to see me walking towards them. Their smiles quickly disappeared when they noticed a group of men walking towards me. I only noticed them when they in front of me.

《Sorry, I need to pass》 I said, trying to walk away, but they were surrounding me

《No, you’re coming with us》 they said

Two of them grabbed me by my arms and dragged me away while the others followed.

《What the hell is going on?》 said Wooyoung, seeing the men taking me to an alley

《San call the police》 ordered Hongjoong 《Everyone else come with me》

Hongjoong started running and the others followed him.

《Let me go》 I screamed

《Shut up》 one of the men said

《What do you want from me?》 I asked, scared

《We have an unfinished business with your father》 he said 《And it looks like you will have to pay for it》

Before I could reply, someone pushed the man to the floor. I looked up and saw a furious Hongjoong. In a second all the men were getting pushed away from me, until I was finally free from their grip. I stepped back and looked at what was happening. Eight boys versus six grown ass men. The boys were doing their best to beat them up, but it was clear that the men were stronger than them. The only two who were doing better than the others were Hongjoong and Jongho. I was panicking. I didn’t know what to do, or how to help them. Everything looked like it was in slow motion, but at the same time it was too fast. KQ Fellaz were beating them up without holding back, and it looked like they were winning, because a couple of the men were on the floor while some of the boys kept them still, but then I saw a man taking out a knife and I felt my blood run cold.

Mingi was already fighting with one of the men, and the other one with the knife was a couple feet away. It was clear that Mingi was going to be his victim, and I wanted to warn him, but the men was already too close and Mingi wouldn’t have had the time to move away. So I did the only thing I could think about. I ran to Mingi and put myself in front of him to protect him.

I didn’t even feel the knife in my stomach. I only heard a scream, and I didn’t know if it was mine, or from one of the boys. The men who stabbed me was suddenly thrown away by one of the boys and I fell on the ground. Mingi was next to me in a second, putting pressure on the wound.

《Stay with me》 he said, panicking 《Keep your eyes open》

《The police and the ambulance are almost here》 said San, who was next to me as well, holding my hand

I could hear their voices, but I couldn’t feel anything physically. Maybe it was the adrenaline, or maybe just the fear. I tried to stay awake and keep my eyes open as much as I could, but after some time I gave in. I remember only flashed after that. I remember hearing the sound of a siren and the blue and red lights. I remember tightening the grip around someone’s hand and indistinct voices talking. Then everything went black.

When I opened my eyes again, I was welcomed by the white ceiling of the hospital. I sighed in relief. At least I was still alive. 

《She’s awake》 San said

I looked next to me and saw San sitting next to my bed, and Mingi standing behind him. Both Mingi’s and San’s shirts were stained with blood.

《Are you hurt?》 I asked, worried

《It’s your blood》 replied San

《Did you lose your mind?》 yelled Mingi, startling both me and San 《What made you think it was a good idea to put yourself in front a knife?》

《He was going to stab you》 I whispered, looking away ashamed

San took my hand and squeezed it.

《You could have gotten yourself killed》 Mingi said

《I’m sorry》 I replied

Mingi sighed, frustrated.

《You don’t have to apologize》 he said 《You saved my life after all》

《You’re not mad?》 I asked

《I am》 he replied 《But I can let it pass this time》

I smiled weakly at him, then someone cleared their throat. I turned around and saw a woman standing at the other side of the room. Has she been there the entire time?

《Who are you?》 I asked

《I’m Detective Lee》 she introduced 《I was waiting for you to wake up, because I need to get your statement》

《Can’t you wait?》 San said, harshly 《She literally just woke up》

The woman glared at the boy.

《You should already be grateful that I didn’t drag you to the police station and let you stay with her》 she replied

I looked at San confused.

《You refused to let go of my hand, and neither me nor Mingi wanted to let you come to the hospital alone》 he whispered to me

《I need you two to leave the room》 she said

San was about to talk back when I squeezed his hand.

《It’s okay》 I said 《You can go》

They both looked at me, hesitant.

《Actually, why don’t you go home and get changed?》 I said 《I don’t want you to go around with my blood on your clothes》

《Are you sure you want us to leave?》 asked Mingi

《Yes, don’t worry》 I replied

Before getting up San gave me a kiss on the forehead and then they both left the room.

《How about you start to tell me what happened?》 the woman said, sitting next to me and putting her notebook and pen out.

《I was going to the park to meet with them》 I said 《Then some men appeared out of nowhere and dragged me away》

《Did they say something about why they were doing it?》

《One of them said they had an unfinished business with my father》 I said, and when I saw that she looked confused, I started to explain 《My father has a lot of problems with money. I don’t see him often but I know he plays cards a lot, and he always loses. I think he owned them money, or something》

《What happened then when they took you away?》

《The boys arrived and they started beating them up, and getting them away from me》 I said 《It’s all confused now in my head, but I remember that one of them took out a knife and he was going to attack Mingi. I put myself between them, thinking I could stop the men, but I just ended up with a knife in my stomach》

《Is that all?》 she asked

《Yes》

She finished writing the last things and then looked at me.

《Your friends are currently at the police station, but they will be out soon》 she said 《Did someone call your mother?》

《I don’t think they did》 I said

《You should call her》 she said 《She must be worried》

《Trust me, she doesn’t even know that I’m missing》 I replied

She was about to ask for an explanation when the door opened, and the rest of the boys entered the room. The detective moved away.

《Thank god you’re okay》 said Yunho running to my side

《You scared us to death》 said Yeosang

《I’m sorry》 I replied, smiling

《Where are San and Mingi?》 asked Hongjoong

《I told them to go home and get changed》 I said 《Their clothes were stained with my blood》

Wooyoung frowned at the memory.

《I’m going back to the station》 said the detective 《And you should call your mother》

As soon as she left the room, Wooyoung scoffed.

《Call your mother? Yeah, sure》 he said, sarcastic

《I think I should really call her》 I said

Everyone turned around to look at me at the same time.

《Are you serious?》 Jongho asked

《She’s still my legal guardian after all》 I said 《The least I can do is let her know》

《I don’t think it’s a good idea》 said Yeosang

《I think so too, but I still think I need to do it》

《If you think it’s the right thing to do, we support you》 said Seonghwa

Jongho handed me my phone, which was on the table next to my bed. I took it and stared at it, without doing anything.

《Do you want one of us to call her?》 asked Hongjoong 《Maybe she’ll be less harsh if it’s not you on the phone》

《Can you do it?》 I asked

《Of course, it’s no problem》

I handed the phone to him and he called her.

《What do you want?》 she said, as soon as she picked up 《I told you not to bother me》

I could see that Hongjoong was already getting angry.

《I’m not Y/N》 he replied 《I called to inform you that your daughter is at the hospital》

《What did that useless idiot do?》

Hongjoong took a deep breath to calm down.

《She was stabbed》 he replied

《Bad thing she survived》

I took Hongjoong’s hand, hoping it would help him, but it was too late. He was furious.

《She doesn’t need you》 he replied 《We can give her everything she need so from now on, she is not your daughter anymore. She has nothing to do with you. I don’t care if you sue us or whatever, I won’t let you get near her again》

He hung up and noticed, only in that moment, that I was holding his hand.

《She doesn’t deserve you》 he said

《At least we tried》 I replied, sadly

The boys stayed with me for the rest of the day. After a while Mingi and San came back too. Unfortunately, at some point a nurse came in and said that the visitor’s hours were over and that everyone needed to go home, but none of the boys wanted to leave. After a couple of tries we managed to convince the nurse that it was better for my sanity that at least one of them stayed with me, even during the night, and since Seonghwa felt responsible for me because I used to stay at his house when I had nowhere to go, we decided it was better if he stayed with me. We stayed up till late, talking, then he forced me to go to sleep and he went to lay down on the couch.

Everything around me was dark. I couldn’t see what was happening or where I was. I could hear yells and screaming from afar and I started running in that direction. I could see the boys and some other people who didn’t have faces. I was walking in the crowd of people, trying to understand what was happening, when someone appeared in front of me and stabbed me. I could feel the pain in my stomach and the laughter of the men.

《Wake up! Y/N! Wake up》

My eyes shot open and I noticed a worried Seonghwa towering over me. I was shaking and a tear fell from my eyes.

《It was just a nightmare》 he said 《It’s okay. You’re safe》

He got on the bed and laid down next to me, taking me in his arms.

《It’s okay》 he kept saying

His scent and his arms made me feel safe, at home. Slowly, I managed to calm down and fall asleep again. This time, I slept without nightmares.

The next morning, the boys came together to the hospital to keep me company, but when they entered the room, both Seonghwa and I were still sleeping, hugging each other.

《That’s not fair》 said San, pouting 《I want to cuddle too!》

《San!》 said Hongjoong, in a scolding manner

Seonghwa moved and slowly woke up. He saw the boys and got up.

《You’re here》 he said, yawning

《You got yourself comfortable, I see》 teased Wooyoung

《She had a nightmare》 he explained, and Wooyoung’s smile disappeared.

Not feeling Seonghwa’s warmth anymore, I woke up too. I turned around and when I saw the boys, I tried to cover my face with the blanket.

《No need to hide》 said Yunho 《We’ve already seen your sleepy face》

I groaned and put the blanket down.

《Good morning》 I said

《We brought you something》 said Yeosang, handing me a box 《But you better eat it before the nurse sees you》

I opened it and saw a chocolate muffin.

《Don’t worry, it won’t last long》 I replied, smirking

San stood by the door to control if any nurse was going there, and I enjoyed my muffin. Once I finished eating, they just sat in the couches and chair around me.

《I did something》 said Wooyoung

I looked at him, confused.

《I couldn’t bear to see your family treat you like that, so I talked it out with my parents》 he said 《I think you should talk with a social worker. What your mother does to you every day is not legal or safe for you, and you need to tell someone. If you decide to do it, my family will support you in anyway possible》

Before I could reply, he added 《My parents agreed to take you in. They will even sign legal documents, if it’s necessary. You need a real family, Y/N》

Instead of replying, I started crying. Wooyoung was suddenly in panic.

《I’m sorry》 he said 《I really sorry I shouldn’t have crossed the line》

《No》 I tried to say, between the sobs 《I’m thankful》

Everyone was confused, Wooyoung more than anyone.

《I’m thankful you would do something like that for me》 I said 《I’m thankful that you all care about me》

《Aww》 said San, squeezing my hand

《Then, what do you think about my idea?》 asked Wooyoung

《I think we should do it》

——

It took us two months to end every kind of relationship that I had with my parents. Firstly I got discharger from the hospital, then I met Wooyoung’s parents and talked everything out with them. Then, they got in contact with a social worker and he took his time to gather proof and information of the abuse I suffered. And last, but not least, the social worker prepared the documents for Wooyoung’s parents, to make them my legal guardians.

《To my new sister》 said Wooyoung, raising his beer to toast

《To my new brother》 I said, doing the same

The rest of the boys screamed and cheered in happiness. I had a new family now, and 8 friends by my side. Life wasn’t that bad after all.

**END**


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